Hopelessly Falling [book 2]

Chapter Thirteen

XIII
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It was all one, big, agonizing mess of movement and sounds blurred together.

The ambulance arriving; Connor's uncontrollable sobbing; the flashing lights; the seemingly endless stream of questions being asked by the police; Ashton arriving; me sobbing into his chest; him trying to comfort Connor while I finished answering questions;

It was all one. big. blur.

One of the police officers had told me that he could drive my car back to my dorm building since I was in no state whatsoever to drive. After telling him the address of my building, I got into the passenger's seat of Ashton's car and stared straight forward, tears falling down my blank face. No part of me moved when I heard Ashton and Connor get in the car as well.

All I could see was the blood. All the fucking blood. Cassidy's blood. My father's blood. My mom and I's blood. It felt like it was everywhere. Like I was drowning in it. Like I was suffocating and feeling everything they felt when talking their last breaths.

When Connor started crying again, we pulled over so that I could get in the back with him. I held him on my lap and he cried into my hair the remaining 40 minutes of the trip back to Ashton's house. He had called Layla to let her know what was going on, but I hadn't listened to anything he said. I just continued to stare forward, too blinded by my thoughts to move a muscle.

The only time I moved again was when we got to his house. I rubbed Connors back and got his attention to show him we were there. He rubbed his eyes and climbed off of me when I opened my door. I followed suit, and Ashton brought me into his side as we walked towards the door, Connor's hand in mine.

Once we walked in, Layla came down the stairs to meet us and immediately brought us both into a hug. When she pulled away, she gave us both a very sad look.

"This is Connor," I introduced them, letting go of Connor's hand and forcing a smile in his direction. My voice came out slightly more congested and raspy than I had realized.

"Hi Connor, I'm Layla," she said to him, kneeling down in front of him and offering him a kind smile.

"Hi L-Layla," he replied in between sniffles. She gave him one more sympathetic look and then stood back up to look at us.

"Jake's in the living room watching tv," she told us.

"When is mommy gonna be okay?" Connor looked up at us with tears in his eyes. I held back my tears that were trying to flow.

"She's not sweetie," I told him gently, my voice cracking. He looked so confused. How do you explain death to an innocent little kid?

"Here, I'll introduce him to Jake," Layla offered and took Connor's hand in hers to lead him away.

"He's acting's like Jake did when everything happened with my parents. He'd always ask when they'd be back," Ashton told me once they were in the other room, his red eyes locking on mine.

"They don't deserve this shit," I said and felt a few tears fall out of my eyes. Ashton brought me into a hug and rubbed my back as I tried not to cry. A few moments later we heard Layla come back into the room and pulled away to look back up at her.

"Jake's telling him about the show he's watching," she told us. "Connor, did he, you know, see anything when you found her?" She asked me. I let out a pained sigh and nodded, thinking back to it. "Holy shit.." she reacted, "poor baby."

"I didn't know what was in there, I-I wouldn't have let him see but I didn't know," I rambled, still trying my hardest not to be hysterical.

"You couldn't have known, Crys," Layla told me and reached out to rub my arm. "I guess I'll go sit with them and keep their minds off of everything."