Hold You Accountable (Published) | ✓

Kabanata 28

maybe we need a break — slchld

Kabanata 28

I laughed as I playfully punched him on his arm. Nanatiling seryoso ang kanyang mga mata sa akin. Nanunuot sa aking balat ang lamig ng aircon na malapit sa pwesto namin at hindi ko maitanggi ang kaba. The lump on my throat only got bigger. I cleared my throat before I took the paper from him.

"Wala lang, parang ang abstract lang kasi pakinggan." I told him as I folded the paper to hide the content.

"there are other poems to choose, you could try bonsai —" Sath stopped when he saw me frowning at him.

"Kabisado ko na 'yung edge," matigas na saad ko. "Ayoko na sana palitan. Malapit na rin ang recital namin kaya bakit pa?"

His eyes softened. Bumuntong hininga siya at hinawakan ang kamay ko. The volts of electricity from his touch made me realized that I was still there and I feel like I was caught red handed.

"The meaning of the poem..." tumikhim siya. "Alam mo ba?"

"Of course..." I drawled, trying to calm my heart. "Alam ko, Sath."

Sath looked at me, his eyes glistened with pure somber. Unti-unti niya akong niyakap. He enfolded his arms around me.

"Para naman 'tong ewan..." I laughed dryly. "Bakit mo ako niyayakap?"

"Sylvia Plath wrote edge, didn't she?" his low tone was comforting me. Naramdaman ko ang init ng kanyang mga bisig na ayaw ako pakawalan.

"Yeah..." I nodded my head.

"She wrote it...six days before she committed suicide."

Katahimikan na puno ng pamamanglaw ang nanaig sa pagitan naming dalawa.

"I didn't know." I smiled. I lied. "I just thought that the poem was good."

I saw how Sath's expression shifted. Lalo lamang lumungkot ang kanyang mga mata. I feel bad for dragging him into this empty pit of sadness. He doesn't deserve it. The energy that I omit cannot be pass to someone else.

Dapat sa akin lang. Ako lang dapat ang nakakaramdam ng hilahil na ito.

"The poem is great but I think romanticizing death is not really good," Sath cupped my face. "May di ba ako alam, Zafi? Is something bothering you?"

Tulad noon, umiling at ngumiti ako.

I'm okay.

I should be okay.

Like how they expect me to be.

Exams came for the 1st grading of the 1st semester.

Hawak-hawak ko ang mga reviewer ko. Hindi alam ang uunahin. I didn't have any time to review since we were also doing some of our activities. Sabay-sabay silang lahat. Parang utang pa namin kung magpapahinga kami.

Kinakabahan ako kahit may aral naman ako. The thing about the computations in ABM, once you fail to analyze the given statement — everything is already wrong.

"FABM, Business Ethics and Business Math for day one?" I can't believe our schedule. Lahat ng mahihirap ay unang-una pa talaga.

Natulala na lamang ako habang binabasa ang mga dapat kong i-review. Sath looked at me and offered me an assuring smile.

"Goodluck, you'll do good for sure." Sath kissed the top of my head. Kakatapos lang namin mag-review sa study hub.

"Yeah, of course." I faked a smile.

Not.

I don't know how to put everything in my head! I was so nervous that I'll fail.

Bago kami umuwi ay bumili si Sath ng nuts at dark chocolate para raw paguwi ko ay may kakainin ako habang nagr-review sa madaling araw. He advised me to take a rest first. Mas gumagana raw ang utak kapag may pahinga at kapag umaga. I beg to disagree. Inaantok ako sa umaga.