"This isn't funny, Keefe, why are we in the same bed?" Sophie shrieked, her hair like a rat's nest on her head.
"I don't know, Foster, but why are we so grown up?" Keefe yelled back, his eyes wide as he felt his torso.
"Mom?" asked a little girl, s...
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Sophie:
I don't know where I'm going, and I can't bring myself to care. I'm not paying attention to my surroundings; I could be in the Forbidden Cities for all I know. The air smells vaguely of smoke. I think it's coming from me.
Logically, I know I shouldn't be this upset. I told Keefe it was just a mistake, that I didn't really love him, so it's not his fault. I can't help but feel a sense of betrayal, though. It might not be Keefe's fault, but I'm still allowed to be upset.
Get a grip, Sophie, I chant in my head, trying to get my breathing under control. My face feels wet, and I raise a hand to wipe the tears away. When did I start crying...? No matter. I just have to keep moving.
I'm walking so fast I think Sandor would be proud. It feels like I'm floating. The air feels hot and steamy, and I realize that my hands are quite literally on fire. I'm so far gone already that I don't even feel the shock.
So this is what being a Pyrokinetic feels like. Total loss of control. I don't know how I started, and I certainly can't stop once it's begun. Distantly, I wonder when I stopped running and fell to my knees.
If I'm in the Forbidden Cities, I'm in for a whole world of hurt once the Council finds out. I can't bring myself to care. The Council is overrated anyway. It's not like they can't mind wipe an entire city of people like we're the Men in Black.
I bet Keefe would like that movie.
I am not thinking about Keefe right now.
My eyes are burning, and I can't tell whether it's from the smoke or the tears. Maybe both. Aren't Pyrokinetics immune to flames? I wonder whether my hair will burn to a crisp or not. At least then I won't have to be insulted by Vertina every morning. When I start laughing, I can practically see the worried stares I'd be getting if I were in a highly populated area.
As it is, I'm only in the middle of a field, similar to the one I just left Keefe in. I'm pretty sure I didn't walk in a circle. If I have, I think I might actually combust. This day is just getting worse and worse. It's like if a train crashed, and then the train wreck caught on fire, and then the entire universe exploded.
I know I'm being dramatic. I know it's not the end of the world. I know that later on, I'll look back and be ashamed. But right now, in this moment, I'm hurt and angry and confused. A little scared, even.
The shame will set in later. It always does.
It's not the end of the world, Sophie.
So then why does it feel like it is?
Keefe:
I've been sitting in the middle of a field for three hours, waiting for this whole issue to right itself without me having to actually work for it. Since the universe hates me, nothing has happened.
Well, unless you count the torrential downpour, which is just further proof of that.
I bet Sophie's halfway across the world by now. I bet she's overthinking everything. I should be with her. It feels wrong not to be with her. But she told me to go away, and I have to respect that. Even if every fiber of my being is telling me to go to her.
Besides, how would I find her anyways? She'd know I was coming from miles away, what with her Telepathy and all. Besides, she's probably long gone. I wouldn't be able to find her even if I tried my hardest.
The world is a big place and I am so very small. I've known that all my life, but I think I've only realized what that means just now. It's almost funny, how Sophie challenges the way I think of things. What's not funny is how she can't say the same.
I don't deserve her, I don't think. Biana would say I'm being self-deprecating again. She's adamant that my father messed me up as a child; that he's horrible and neglected me and doesn't deserve to call me his son. I know he was a bad parent. I know that I deserve better. But still, that little voice at the back of my head is calling me a failure. A disappointment. A voice that sounds suspiciously like Daddy Dearest.
I don't want to think about my father right now. Preferably, I don't ever want to think about him again.
Sophie said she needed distance, but I know how she's feeling. I know her emotions. I know her. She pushes everyone away to keep them safe, even when she needs them the most. Sophie's never abandoned me in my times of hurt. She's never turned her back. I have to be there for her the same she's always been for me.
All my life, I never thought there'd be someone like Sophie. Someone who saw me for who I really was, and someone who wasn't disappointed with that. Someone who made me better, who didn't care whether I was weak or strong or a failure or not. Someone who just was.
I pick myself off of the ground, wiping the dust off my knees. Sophie's always been there for me. It's time that I'm there for her.
I don't care how long it takes. I don't care how far she is. I'm coming for you, Sophie. And I promise I won't ever turn my back on you again.
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i know that this is a short update but i just wanted to get something out before the month is over. a lot of people have been pressuring me to update since literally the day after i last updated but i lack motivation so that didn't work so well
anyways, happy birthday JuneFlowers24! (i hope i got your birthday right, i'm not in the mood to math right now.) thank you for being a reader since basically the beginning, i always look forward to reading your comments :)))
~anna brooks
p.s. double updates will start next month or maybe never, it depends on how i feel
