Lovesick // John Wick

― 29. running out of time

                       JOHN ISN'T sure what the future will hold for him in this moment as he watches his wife lay in a hospital bed. She looks peaceful and serene, unlike the storm inside him. It's hard for him to look at her like this, it brings him too much regret, guilt, and pain. He doesn't know when Kaitlyn will wake up or if she will. And if she doesn't, no need for him to fight for retirement. He's thinking about everything; paths he can take depending on what happens with her. He never thought it would come down to this. The day he saw her on that stage with the symphony; the day her married her; he'd always blindly thought it would be perfect for them. John knows he should have know better.

   The hospital room is cold. It's lifeless. The fluorescents above bring a false sense of light to the room, like they're trying to drowning the room. Kaitlyn appears to be the only thing in this room that isn't ugly or suffocating in John's mind. Her hair is laid out perfectly around her, she looks like an angel. Though she has some small tubes up her nose. An IV in too. All of it looks unnatural along with the steady beeps of her breaths.

But it's hard for him to look at her and not see the bloody state she was in. It's practically burned into the back of his head.

John sits in a chair besides the bed watching her sleep. He's loosely holding the hand without the IV in his larger one feeling her soft hands in his banged up one. Her touch is heavenly to him, even though he'd taken a beating this makes all of it go away. His eyes are filled with a desperate love as he stares down at her trying to will her awake. It hurts him. His chest hurt, so heavy, feeling like claws are trying to break through it. And the frustration that swarms his body is slowly becoming too unbearable.

He's angry and hellbent. He doesn't know what happened to Leo but he assumes he's dead. John wishes he could do it himself. It wouldn't have been personal to John if he had to kill Leo because of Tomas- but the second he touched Kaitlyn... it did. He isn't sure the last time he wanted to rip someone's head off so bad.

The painful tinges in his heart, in his whole being, and the sadness that over takes him as he looks at her— it shows him his greatest weakness. The numbness in her fingertips and toes, he maybe this is what dying of a broken heart is like. When Marcus died he didn't feel like this. When others who have been in his life died, their deaths also seem minuscule to this. And Kaitlyn isn't even dead! Maybe his brain and body are trying to prepare him for the worst possible outcome.

He is so absorbed in his depressing thoughts doesn't hear the door open, "hi John." a soft voice reaches his ears breaking his focus.

John moves and looks to who is standing there.

Pippa D'Antonio has a cast on her left wrist and sling holding her left arm in place as well. There's also a dull bruise forming around her cheekbone to an eye. But she still has a smile on her pink lips, "mind if I sit?"