Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

23 April, 1978 - Open (ish)

Sirius trudged back to Gryffindor tower early in the morning along with James and Peter, all three of them hunched over to hide their feet under the cloak. It had been an easy full moon, by all accounts and though Remus was in the hospital wing it was more due to Madam Pomfrey's insistence than anything else and he wouldn't have any new scars.

Which was good, not only because a clean full moon was always good but also because Sirius didn't think he could handle any more worry than he was already dealing with.

After the previous night, all Sirius had wanted was to see Lavinia again, to make sure she was okay. She'd acted so strangely that night and the blood had freaked him out terribly. He'd looked for her everywhere he could think after she'd run, but he hadn't been able to find her. And she hadn't been at breakfast, which he'd expected because it was Lavinia and she was never at breakfast. Then she hadn't been at lunch, which, he'd reminded himself with increasing levels of anxiety, was also normal. But she hadn't been at dinner either. And though Lavinia was known to miss meals, she usually showed up for at least one.

He'd proceeded to spend much of the remaining time before he, James and Peter left to meet Remus, trying to rationalize her absence. Maybe she'd eaten in the kitchens, to avoid the stares and whispers. He couldn't blame her for that. It would get to anyone to be constantly hearing hissed insistences that you were worthless. It was getting to him, honestly, and it was only out of respect for Lavinia's frankly annoying request that they stay out of the whole mess that he didn't tell people off for it. Or curse them. He would certainly like to curse some of them.

Of course, he might well get the chance since most of those he wanted the excuse to turn his wand on were likely candidates for future Death Eaters, which was perhaps why they were so vehement in their condemnation of Lavinia, and he had every intention of joining the Order of the Phoenix once he'd graduated. It was a decision they had all made, he and James and Remus and Peter and Lily. They still hadn't told Lavinia, however. She was touchy about the war and though they suspected that she knew that they would fight, they didn't really know how to go about breaking the news to her. They'd have to soon, he knew, but it never seemed like the right time.

Then again, it had never seemed like the right time to ask her about the knife in her suitcase either and look how well that had turned out. He sighed and tried to turn his thoughts elsewhere even as he stifled a yawn. He hadn't slept properly the night before and was frankly exhausted from it. He honestly just wanted to get to bed. He would rest well and then deal with Lavinia later, once he was properly awake and his head didn't feel like it was full of fuzz. When he could tell her he was there. No matter what. When he could remind her of all the reasons she had to hang on. To not hurt herself.

He was jerked out of his thoughts by James, who was in front of him under the cloak, stopping to give the Fat Lady the password. Just barely avoiding running into his best friend, Sirius collected himself enough to climb through the portrait hole, shedding the cloak as he stepped out into the common room.

Peter climbed through behind him and all three began making their way up the staircase to the boys dormitory, none of them speaking. They were all exhausted, Sirius knew. None of them had gotten a proper sleep after he'd told them how he'd found Lavinia. None of them had even tried to sleep until fairly late, all somehow hoping she would magically appear and they could smooth the whole thing over. Or better yet, find out that Sirius was wrong and she'd never even considered hurting herself. It was a false, desperate hope that none of them had dared to voice for all that each knew it was on the others' minds.

Sirius was once again lost in thought when James stopped dead in front of him and this time he did run smack into his best friend.

"What the hell mate?" he groaned, stabilizing himself with a hand on the door frame and realizing they were at the entrance to their room.