✔️ 𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐕𝐀𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐄 → 𝑠. 𝑏𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑘

13 | W O R D S

   Margo Adelaide Fudge had lost her mind.

   ... or she had just been terrifyingly right. Both versions she didn't fancy. Not. At. All.

   Opening her eyes after not more than three hours of sleep, Margo immediately was wide awake, and it had nothing to do with this little amount of rest being quite enough for her.

    She sat up straight in her bed, crouching away as far as she could to the other end of the mattress, her sheets clasped tightly to her body, and hell, she wasn't far from screaming.

   With a racing heart, Margo stared at the impossible. The impossible!

   There on her nightstand, black and leather bound, green ornaments staring at her like snake eyes, lay that bloody book she had watched, she had witnessed burning down to nothing but ashes last night until five a clock, and there was nothing left of it but a leaky leather cover, glimming and fuming, but definitely destroyed.

   So how in the name of Merlin, Morgana and freaking Medusa was this even possible?

   The answer still remained: it wasn't.

   The book was cursed. It had to be cursed. There was no other explanation. It had returned to her, just to haunt her.

   "Don't you want to open it?"

   A squeal escaped Margo's throat, and she pressed her back tighter against the wall, until she noticed, it wasn't the book that had spoken to her. Her whole face was burning with embarrassment, when her eyes met the marble ones of Sirius Black, who was sitting in an armchair next to her drawer.

    "How long have you been sitting here?", Margo asked. "Have you watched me sleeping the whole night?"

   "Of course not, I'm not a creep. I came in here five minutes ago to give you this." He nodded at the book on her nightstand. "But then you stirred and I thought you were about to wake up. I decided to wait. There's a lot of stuff I need to explain to you."

   "I don't want you to explain anything to me", Margo hissed, and all her fear from before, was utterly exchanged with anger. "You had no right to read my diary. It was private!"

   "I didn't read anything you didn't allow me to read", Sirius said, pushing himself out of the armchair. "Read the book", he added, as he was heading for the door. "If you still want me to leave you alone after that, I understand. But I hope, you'll be willing to talk about all of that with me."

   He closed the door behind him, leaving Margo alone with a dazzled expression on her mind, and still the burning sensation of embarrassment on her face, as her gaze slowly wandered towards the leathery black book still slumbering on her nightstand.

   Her fingers were still shaking, as she took it, and the leather felt warm on the skin of her fingertips. Most of the sites were empty; whatever Sirius wanted her to read, had not been scribbled on the first couple of pages.

   But then she found it; words written in a handwriting she knew all too well, and her eyes for a second widened, before she could bring her attention to the actual meaning of the sentences in front of her.

Margo,    

what I am about to write down, could turn out to be the second biggest mistake I ever did in my life, but thinking about it for a while, I realised you have every right to know the truth, even if that could mean, I might lose you forever.

I already told you, that I used this two-way-diary during my time at Hogwarts. The second one belonged to my best friend, James. After his death, and until now, I still don't know why, when I was in his home, I took his part of the diaries with me. It turned out to be the best idea I ever had.

When I was imprisoned, I was allowed to take this small book with me. I left the other one behind, hoping for Remus to find it, or Dumbledore, or anyone who would believe me. I have waited for so long, but the second book seemed to have gotten lost. At least I thought so, until you wrote me.

During my days in Azkaban, writing to you was the only thing that kept my mind from going insane, like all the other prisoners did. When I wrote to you, I could utterly zoom out, even better than in my Animagus form. You saved me, Margo. And it turned out, that you still do.

Being trapped in this house is like being trapped in Azkaban all over again. The walls are nagging on my soul, just like the Dementors did. The curtains are whispering stories, I tried to forget for so long. I was living in constant darkness.

And then there was you.

Margo, since you first stepped into this house, you enlightened a fire in me, that threatened to burn me alive, but also warmed my soul in a way it never was before.

I thought I had to fight this fire for so long, but when it was gone, I realised, I need it more than anything. I thought it was wrong, but it turned out to be the only thing that was right.

I am Padfoot. Though I think you might have guessed it right now, I hope you will forgive me, I didn't tell you sooner. I was afraid. Afraid of never reading your words again, afraid of you leaving this place and me behind, and beyond all of this, I was afraid of my own feelings towards you.

Margo Adelaide Fudge, if you will forgive me, I swear this was the last secret I will ever have had the feeling I must hide from you. From now on, you'll receive nothing but honesty from me, starting with the truth I even tried to hide from myself for so many months now: you own all of my heart, and it still scares me, but I will no longer deny it. You have my heart, Margo.

Forgive me.    

Sirius