Red vs Blue (Male OC Insert) [Being heavily overhauled]

Season 5 Episode 92: Where Credit Is Due

Fade in to the Blues, Ghost, and Dhuka

Church:    You want us to turn her back on again. After we just went through all that trouble to shut her down.

Caboose:    But she said she knows where O'Malley is.

Church:    Maybe she was lying. How could she possibly know that? What do you think Tex, can we turn her back on again? Disable her guns or somethin'?

Tex:    Not a chance, she's a wreck back here. I'm not even sure how she was operational anyway.

Ghost: You can thank me for that... I swear everyone here is terrible with technology!

Tex: I agree.

Caboose:    Oh, I know, uh, we could put her inside my head! Like O'Malley. I've got lots of extra room in there.

Church:    Yeah, I bet, and, no. She's not that kind of A.I.

Tex:    She could only be moved over, if we had a similar class of vehicle.

Church:    Yeah, if only we had some other kind of big vehicle that we could move her in to. We can't use the warthog 'cause that doesn't have anything... Wait a minute. Tex... the ship? Could we move her in to one of those on-board computers?

Tex:    If we set up a hardline, yeah, I bet we could do it.

Tucker comes running out of the base

Tucker:    Church, wait!

Church:    Huh?

Tucker:    Church hold on a second I've got something to tell you!

Church:    Tucker what, what is it?

Tucker:    I just wanted to say, I got a hardline Tex can use. Bow chicka bow wow.

Tex:    How did you even hear that?

Tucker:    Phh I'm like Superman, I know when I'm needed.

Ghost: You are never needed and if you continue to annoy me, I will kill you.

Tucker: ...

Church: ...

Caboose: ...

Tex: ...

Cut to the Reds in the deep dark dank dingy cave, with Grif shaking off the effects of having been forcibly unconscious

Sarge:    Shake it off you big orange baby, what happened to you?

Donut:    He's been chasing the dragon.

Simmons:    Donut, shut up, he was drugged just like me.

Donut:    That's what I'm saying! He fell off the wagon, and shook hands with the Devil!

Simmons:    Shut up!

Donut:    He's been ridin' the wave, and trippin' the technicolor dreamscape. Far out, man. Druggie loser.

Simmons:    Will, you, stop, Donut. All you're doing with your stupid anti-drug lingo, is making me actually want to try drugs.

Donut:    Choose life, Simmons. Choose it.

Simmons:    Yeah, that sounds like fun.

Sarge:    Who knocked you out, Grif? Was it those dirty Blues?

Grif:    No, some kind of bat-person.

Sarge:    Bat-person!?

Simmons:    Sarge, I'm not sure Grif knows what he's talkin' about.