Season 5 Episode 100: Why Were We Here?

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Fade in to the Reds hunting down Caboose in their jeep Puma Warthog

Simmons:    Hey Caboooose.

Grif:    Caboooose.

Simmons:    Come out so I can shoot you ya fuckstick!

Grif:    Where did Caboose go?

Sarge:    I don't see 'im. Caboose!

Simmons:    Come out Caboose, all we wanna do is shoot you!

Caboose:    Don't listen to them, it's a trick!

The Warthog's radio starts picking up the Blues

Tex:    This is Freelancer Tex broadcasting on an open channel.

Church:    This is Private Church broadcasting on an open channel.

Grif:    Why are the Blues on the radio?

Simmons:    Who knows? Hey Blues, shut the fuck up, get off our radios and quit running our batteries down!

O'Malley shoots in to Simmons' open radio frequency

O'Malley:    Do it now, or I will kill every last one of you! And then everyone else here as well! Just to prove a point! Mahahahahahahaha!

Grif:    Whoa Simmons, hey. Don't you think that was a little over the top?

O'Malley:    Suck it you fool!

Sarge:    And what's wrong with your voice?

O'Malley:    Nothing. Why does something have to be wrong with my voice? Maybe something's wrong with your voice. Ever think about that, cocksucker?

Grif:    Um, you do know that's Sarge you're talking to, right?

Simmons:    I mean cocksucker, Sir!

O'Malley:    Muahaha, hahaha.

Cut to the Blues, and Ghost executing the last Wyoming

Church:    This is Private Church broadcasting on an open channel.

Tex:    What are you doing?

Church:    I'm making you harder to find. Tucker! Turn on your radio!

Tucker:    Fuhuck that! If O'Malley gets me he'll get the sword.

Church:    Attention all Blues! Turn on your radio and start broadcasting right now!

Caboose:    Okay, I'm on the radio too now! This is fun! What do you want to talk about?

Ghost: Church! Stop, you're fucking up the plan!

Church:    Well, he can't find you now Tex.

Ghost: Church! For fuck sakes stop fucking up the plan!

Church: You mean the plan where Tex and Omega rule the universe? I don't think so!

Tex:    Don't get involved Church. Omega wants me, he can have me.

Church:    Why, so you can kidnap Tucker's kid? And enslave an entire race?

Tucker:    Yeah what's up with that, bitch?

Tex:    We have to win the war, Church.

Church:    Well what about after? You think Omega's just gonna stop after he gets a whole species for an army? He's gonna take over everything Tex, and you're not gonna be able to stop him!

Tex:    I guess we'll find out.

Doc:    Hehey, uh Church? It's Doc. Yeah uh, you remember that Blue Leader guy down here? Weuh he's just keeled over. So I-I think O'Malley's on his way. Just FYI.

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