Embrace the Suck (Bad, #1)

Final Chapter

Hindi na ako bumalik sa office. Saint said that his brother will take care of it. I didn't ask how. I'm not surprised. Ms. Yui called Shiloh with an endearment earlier, kaya paniguradong girlfriend niya ito.

We were both wrapped in a silence on the drive home. The absence of sound wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was... peaceful. It reminds me of the sound of the waves kissing the sand. His hand clasped with mine felt like the sun warming my skin from the salty breeze.

Seeing Saint at home again made my heart flutter. There was a drastic change in the atmosphere; the whole room looks brighter and the temperature was warmer... cozier.

I tried to ignore it didn't feel like home when he wasn't around that it almost seems like there's a big hole on the roof.

Saint led me to the living room. Nang makaupo ako sa sofa ay tsaka niya lang binitawan ang kamay ko.

"I'll get some water," marahan niyang sabi bago umalis.

Dumiretso na siya sa kusina. I bit my lip there and impatiently waited for him. It took all of me not to follow him there just 'cos I wanna keep him close. I can't help but want to cling to him, like a moth drawn to a flame. I've missed him so much.

Nang bumalik siya ay may dala siyang dalawang baso ng tubig. Inilapag niya ang isa sa coffee table bago umupo sa tabi ko. He handed me the other glass.

"Drink," utos niya. Kinuha ko naman 'yon at uminom.

While I was drinking, he brushed away the stands of hair falling on the side of my face. He curled it behind my ear and gently stroked my hair, as if to soothe me.

"I'm sorry for hiding the truth from you," Saint started. Binawi niya ang kamay mula sa aking buhok.

Ibinaba ko ang baso at medyo gumilid ng upo para maharap siya nang maayos. "Your brother told me the reason. I understand now. If I was in your position, I would have done the same thing."

He let out a breath of relief. "That night... I saw you. I was briefly conscious and saw you being hauled away with a stretcher. You face and clothes were filled with blood that you almost looked lifeless. I felt so guilty. We put a young kid in danger."

"When I found out that your father didn't make it, I hated my brother for drinking and driving... and then hated myself because I know I have my share of blame." Saint firmly closed his eyes. "Kung hindi ako naglasing at nagpasundo, hindi sana nangyari ang aksidenteng 'yon."

"Guilt gnawed at me the whole time you were in coma. I prayed so hard for you to wake up and when you did, you didn't have any memory of the accident. The doctor said it's the brain's way of protecting you from the traumatic experience and that it's a blessing disguise. They don't know what will be the effect on you once your memory comes back. The guilt didn't disappear though. You lost your father at a young age... because of us."

"I tried to move on." He licked his lips. "But you kept on creeping on my mind. I checked on you every once in a while. Then the guilt turned into something... fierce and personal."

My lips parted at that. He's been around since the year of the accident? He'd shadowed over me for a long time and I didn't even notice.

"When you moved out of the house, I got pissed at your mother for letting you be alone at sixteen. I felt more protective over you that I persistently watched over you from afar. I thought it was just guilt at first," He scoffed. "but who was I kidding? A person who's only guilty wouldn't feel as fucking possessive as I am, especially whenever you're with your endless list of guys."

Namula ang mukha ko sa hiya. He was there even during those periods. Naabutan niya ang kamalasan at kahihiyan ko sa love life dahil walang nagtatagal sa akin.