running low on time

chapter 9: only hurts more

A/N tbh I don't know why I started writing this I just got an idea and decided imma share this soo here we are XD enjoy!

Aizawa awoke to a bright light shining through the blinds, he didn't want to move or do anything really and he surely didn't feel like dealing with everything going through his mind.

After a few minutes or what Aizawa thought to he a few minutes he checked the time. Seeing as it was 11:34 he decided to maybe take a walk or something that would get him away from the problematic children who were probably doing something stupid as he sat up.

It had been a stressful month from when he first started playing for them. After that one day they always gathered to the teachers dormitory on a Saturday to hear him play, he sorta enjoyed making a new song every week. Until the one where he couldn't think of anything other then everything wrong with life. He started to doubt himself and started losing himself to the negativity.

He sat at his desk and looked at the time. He had 4 hours to come up with something or he'd be a let down. 2 hours until recovery girl came to do the monthly check up. 57 minutes until he had to check on his students.

He lazily started writing what came to his mind which was basically just things he messed up on and everything he hated about himself. From when he failed to keep his students out if danger, to how he acted, to his looks, to how everything around him turned gloomy whenever he entered a room or how he never said how he really felt to anyone even if he was in great pain.

He got cut from his thoughts when he heard a crash onto his door. "What the-" he then heard a crash and something fall to the ground with a loud thud. He sighed pushing away from  his desk and moving to the door.

Opening it allowed an explosive Bakugou to crash into him and make him fall to the ground. He rubbed the back of his head in the area he hit on his desk opening an eye to see what just happened.

There i front of him was a smiling Bakugou who proceeded to chase Mina and Kaminari with slime. 'thats new' he thought standing up grabbing Kirishima's hand who then proceeded to run after the others with sero trying to hide behind a small plant and Mina moving towards the  fridge whilst Bakugou chased after Kaminari who ran towards Toshinori's room and then to Kirishima as a shield.

Aizawa walked out a little confused. "What are you doing here" he asked lazily as he tippy toed to grab a bowl.

(Placed on top shelf because the others like to "see him suffer" as Aizawa would say)

He turned around and saw Uraraka and Tsu messing around with Hizashi's hair. He also saw Hagakure, Momo and Jirou putting make up on Kayama. He then saw snipe and vlad playing a card game against Midoriya and Iida. He noticed Kouda and Shoji talking to All Might Ojiro, Sato, and the rest of the class who wasn't being chased doing art.

Aizawa made a simple breakfast that was just yogurt since he gave up trying to grab a bowl. Turning around he looked at all the students there and saw they were enjoying themselves hanging out with the staff. "We wanted to do something so we decided to drop by!" Midoriya spoke looking to the tired homeroom teacher.  Said homeroom teacher just nodded  heading to his room to continue doing what he was doing before he came out.

"leavung already? you haven't even had a proper breakfast!"  Kayama pointed out after the girls finished her Makeup. "Yeah come on you haven't had a proper meal in a while " Hizashi said glancing at Aizawa. "Wait really?" Uraraka asked turning to the tired man who just sighed. "Why would it matter?"   He asked bitterly just wanting to retreat to his room and do everything he needed to complete. "Dude what is with yo you lately? You haven't eaten enough you havent come out if your room a lot you haven't been talking to us much is something wrong?" the loud blond asked making the room silent. "Its nothing" was the only answer he got before his friend left making everyone  a tad bit worried no a lot worried after hearing the words that came out if the homeroom teachers mouth sound so dull and almost lifeless.

Aizawa slid down the door and just thought about how he's been acting for the past month. Hizashi was right he wasn't felt miserable he felt as if he didn't matter he ket all the negative words he heard over the past years he's been alive sink in and tear him to bits. He was being eaten up by all the pain and stress and hurt.

Villain

Worthless

Loser

Kill yourself

Weakling

Monster

Die

Freak

Ugly

Rat

Weird

Don't deserve to live

Nothing

Mistake

He stood up and headed to his closet grabbing the knife from his hero costume. He looked at the knife for a long moment before walking over to his balcony. He then started moving the knife point down his wrist letting the blood run down and fall onto the railing. He continued to cut until his wrists were bloody and dripping down. He smiled down at his hands and the knife. "This isn't going to help anything." He says quietly through the tears that came. He fell to the ground thinking of all the regrets he had, Every mistake he made, the pain Swallowed him up until he passed out.

He awoke to the sound of knocking. "Crap! " Aizawa whisper yelled realising what time it was. He quickly cleaned up the blood and cleaned his wrists before heading out if his room.

He looked around and saw the students had left and the rest staff were already finished with their check up. "There you are what took so long" Chiyo asked looking a little worried since Aizawa wasn't usually late even if he didn't like check ups and doctor appointments and just getting help even if he was badly injured.

"I was sleeping"  Chiyo nodded waiting for him to sit down.

After a bit she noticed a bit of white underneath the underground heros sweater . "Mind explaining? " he knew exactly what she meant and didn't know what to answer with. "I just cut myself by mistake" Chiyo didn't believe a word he said as she knew when the man lied. " tell the truth"

A/N uhh next chapter will be even shorter just saying XD