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Review by Jacob: Variant

Title: Variant

Author: JokeWasOnMe

Reviewer: Prince_Pretence

Cover: 3/5

Aesthetically pleasing, but doesn't give the "superheroes" vibe. And a pro tip: don't use your username on your covers, or use "by XYZ". It's pretty distracting and amateur. If you want to go with an aesthetic element, then continue with this one, but I'd suggest a "superhero—y" cover for the book. Would work better.

Blurb: 2.5/5

It gives off so many different ideas, and none relates to the story at all. No, I don't mean the sentence itself [because I know that you've used it in your book], but the essence. If you hadn't told me about the 'superhero' element of the book before I read the cover, I would've thought of it some adventure story, like, and someone needs rescuing and hopeful about it. But at the climax, when someone does come to rescue them, it's not the right people—instead, they're the worst people, and well, he is again stuck in yet another pit. So, you know, that's how I interpreted it. Then while reading the book, when I came across this sentence, it didn't strike me as "oh, no!". Because when she was caught, your protagonist wasn't surprised. More on this Character Development.

Grammar: 3.5/5

Although the grammar in this book as well is smooth, the writing style is way too flowery for the superhero genre—more on this in the writing style section. I'd suggest you not to swap the tenses [to foreshadow] and narratives. That had happened only once or twice in the entire book, so a good rereading ought to fix that. Apart from that, as usual, it's formatting and stuff. Again, nothing too grave, but if it can be fixed, fix it.

Character Building: 2/5

So, unlike Are You Crazy, Variant's all the focus was on its main character. It's not a bad thing, per se, but the side characters in the book hold severe positions in the story, given that they are 'variants' as well. They are also hinted to be working with Sterling, but are constantly undermined and made to look foolish or just unimportant, because hey! The protagonist is a Mary Sue.

Harper is the very definition of modern Mary Sues. Consider the prologue where she is sparring with Artur, and "magnificently" breaks the rules of the act and gets labelled impressive. Apart from the general law of 'not breaking' the rules', her abilities as a variant are shoved continuously in the readers' face telling 'oh, just how strong she is!'. Even if we leave the technical incorrectness that a 16–year–old simply CANNOT defeat a 51–year–old in hand–to–hand combat, the lack of anything that the readers should "feel" is missing. My first thought after completing the chapter was—well if she is so smart and on the way to become a prodigy and defeat her instructor by breaking the rules of combat [which, I suppose, is done to show her a rule–breaker], what do I have to worry about? Nothing. Why should I bother reading the book?

But I understand. This is a prologue, so maybe this space is utilised to inform us of the strength of the protagonist so that whenever someone unfamiliar with her tries to challenge her, we [readers] can smirk and say, 'she's gonna beat your ass'. Well, the bad news: all I felt was—this can't be real. We don't know how long it has been since Harper left L.A.C.E. In all the posted chapters, we didn't learn much about Harper that we should feel, connect, and worry to/about. And no, the idea of a rough 'childhood' and dead parents is such a big turnoff in all the literary genres, especially when it comes to superheroes. It's a cliche that no one feels sympathetic anymore unless it's done right and that death or rough childhood has shaped the character in any sense. Harper mentions again and again that she didn't like killing, and yet she remarks at that cafe that may be killing the soldier would've made things easier for them. She is written to be sassy and smart and all–knowing, which we have seen in Natasha Romanoff, in Wanda, in Alice, in Lara—every female "strong" character. Her dialogues are chalky and uninteresting and used. "Well, how is this going to play out?" roughly translates to "Before we start, anyone wants to leave?" Remember where is that from? I'm sure you do because this is every superhero/action book ever. She knows everything and learns what she doesn't know in a matter of time. Harper does not have any flaws, and that's what makes her a Mary Sue. Captain Marvel.