Lucas
en·vy
/ˈenvē/
noun
a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.
When your dad is a multi-millionaire, there isn't much room for envy. If I wanted something, I always got it. When Spencer Leonard got a BMW for his 16th birthday, my dad got me a G Wagon for mine. Unfortunately, my time with the G wagon, didn't last long because I ended up wrecking it shortly after, but regardless I've never been one to be envious of anyone else.
Until now.
It's hard to say, but I - the Lucas Bellini am jealous of Asher Yates.
I haven't seen Scarlett since she dropped me off at the airport almost two months ago. We both said that we were going to put in the effort to make long-distance work, but it's turning out to be a lot harder than either of us expected. Our original plan was consistent texting, facetime calls three times a day, and Google's Netflix extension. Plus, the occasional video sex session once in a while to spice things up a bit.
We did well for about 2 or 3 weeks before Scarlett started missing our facetime dates or disappearing for hours on end, not answering my texts. Of course, I asked her about it, and it turns out that she's just extremely busy working on herself. I'm proud of her for using this time to put herself first. Scarlett's identity has always been defined by things out of control. Her siblings, the car accident, drugs, even me. She's never had the chance just to be authentically Scarlett Rose - whatever that entails. I love the progress that my baby is making on her road to recovery, so her being too busy for me isn't the issue.
It's Yates.
Ever since I left, Scarlett and him have been extremely close. Like inseparable close. I know they're best friends, and she's living with him and his mom, but anyone from the outside looking in would think that they're in a relationship. Every post. Every snap, Every Instagram live they're together. I don't think Scarlett's posted a single picture in the past two months that didn't have Asher somehow attached to it. Wherever she is, he's right there like a sick love-struck puppy.
I'm fully aware that what they have is strictly platonic, especially on Scarlett's side. If Yates ever thought of making a move on Scarlett and testing the limits of their friendship, I'm 1000% confident she would reject him. I don't feel that Yates is coming for my position as her man. I'm just upset that he's having the summer I envisioned with her. Yates has taken her to museums, concerts, food festivals- even picnics in the park. All things that I should be doing with her
"What's wrong, bro? I can literally see the steam coming from your ears." Chris sets a chipotle bag down on my bed. We're literally in California. I don't know why he didn't get authentic Mexican food instead of this whitewashed Tex-Mex.
"Nothing," I say before he snatches my phone from my hands. "Are you still mad about this shit." He shows me my phone as if I haven't seen the picture of Scarlett in a bikini on Yates' back captioned 'My two favorite things Ash and the beach.' I've been stewing over it for most of the morning. She looks genuinely happy, and I can't remember if I ever made her that happy while we were together.
"Give me back my phone, bro." I hold my hand out. I'm not really in the mood to deal with Chris and his shit right now. I love my brother, but sometimes, which is actually most times, he's a pain in my ass.
"No because we need to talk. Lately, you've been dragging your feet and moping around like someone killed your puppy. You need to stop this shit. You could have stayed in Boston, or you be flying down on weekends to see her. You could even leave if you really wanted to be with her."
"I don't know what you're talking about." I snatch my phone of his hands and get another glimpse at the cursed image. Of course, I know what he's talking about. I've been miserable without Scarlett. Instead of hanging out with my family and enjoying our summer together, I'm phone stalking Scarlett. I'm sick without her.
"I'm talking about you being jealous of a dude that killed his girlfriend. Really Lucas? You're better than that."
"I'm not jealous of him."
"Okay then, you're not jealous of him, but you think he's boning your girlfriend. That's it? You think Yates is getting into that tight little p-"
"Okay, Chris! Damn enough! Fuck!" I yell. He finally hit a nerve. I know it's crazy, but what if Scarlett and Ash are secretly fucking behind my back. She looks too happy in these pictures.
"Oh yeah, that's what it is. I wouldn't be too upset about it though. Scarlett loves you the same way you love her. You guys make me sick, but I know neither of you would never cheat. You're both just too into each other to hurt the other like that. I know you guys are going to last. Hell, I already bout my tux for the wedding. I just need a date.
I get that same sinking feeling in my stomach that I've been getting since I left Houston.
"Yo, you good bro? You look like you've seen a ghost? You're really white."
"Do you think Scarlett would marry me? If I proposed to her?" I spit out.
"Um..." Chris wide eyes me, clearly taken aback by my abrupt question. "I mean...I don't know. I was just joking, though. You guys haven't even been together for an entire year yet. You're not really thinking about marrying her, are you?"
"I mean, it would make the most sense, right? We love each other. Why not get married?" The gears start turning in my head as I sputter. I could propose at the end of the summer. My mom loves planning shit so we could have the wedding by early October.
"Lucas, you're not even 20 yet. What the fuck? Where is this coming from? This isn't you."
"Chris, you don't get it. I love Scarlett. Being without her is tearing me inside, and it's only been a few weeks. I can't see my future without her in it." I gulp as images of how she would react if she found out about what happened in Houston flashes through my mind, and I realize now that I have to do everything in my power to make sure that she never learns the truth. I can't lose her. I just can't.
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Filler Chapter to let you all know I'm still alive and working on this story albeit very slowly.
