Mistletoe in the Mortuary (Inspector Rames)

Chapter 13

It was raining again. Cassia caught a tram back to Sebastian's flat, shivering with cold and shock. She didn't know what she was going to do when she arrived.

She'd told him that she didn't want a happy ending. She'd told him she was okay with temporary.

But she was carrying his baby.

When you get in too deep, people let you down. I'm going to hurt you. You're going to hurt me.

He'd been right.

She wanted the baby, and a small part of her was delighted. But bigger than that feeling was her guilt and fear. This was going to destroy everything with Sebastian -- not just their sexual relationship, but their friendship, too. He'd trusted her to take the morning-after pill. She'd betrayed him.

He would stop trusting her. And he might never trust anyone else again.

He was waiting for her when she got in, pacing the living room. He stopped when the door opened, and her distress must have been written all over her face because he took her in his arms. "What's wrong?"

Everything.

No one understood her like Sebastian. How could she have let herself hurt him? How was she going to deal with the fallout?

"Cassia." His voice was far away. "Talk to me."

The room span. This was going to change her whole life. She'd have to raise a child without a father and carry on without the man who'd become her best friend.

She heard his voice again, heavy with concern. "Cassia!"

Then there was nothing.

***

Sebastian stood beside the bed, his fingers tight around his tabphone. "I have to call a doctor."

"No." Cassia tried to push herself upright, but her arms collapsed beneath her weight. She was as pale as the dead, which had frightened him while she'd been unconscious. Her voice wavered. "I fainted because I haven't eaten anything all day."

Everything she'd said to him this afternoon had been a lie. He could see it in her face, but he didn't know how to stop it. So he played along. "Do you want me to make some soup?"

Her gaze slid away, and she was quiet for a long moment. "You don't have to."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Her eyes snapped back to his. "What?"

"Of course I don't have to make it for you! I'm offering because I want to." He dragged a hand over his hair. "You've let me look after you all week, and now...what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Cassia, please. You know I'll listen to anything."

He also knew that she wouldn't be pushed, so he shouldn't have felt surprised when she turned her face away. But he was. They'd broken down so many barriers together -- more barriers than he'd realised until now.

He'd thought she trusted him.

***

Cassia didn't say another word all evening. She ate, and then she lay down, trying to sleep. Her head was pounding, and her stomach felt uneasy. She hoped she wouldn't throw up while Sebastian was around.

When he came to bed much later, he didn't seem angry. He just held her against him. She knew it would be one of the last times.

It should have been the last time. But as she stared into the dark, she didn't know how she was going to tell him it was over. One day, he would work her out of his system. She would never work him out of hers.