Wrong Number, Spidey

Welcome to the Potato Parade

17

"Hey, FRIDAY," Clint panted out, "is Pepper back from that business trip yet?"
"Miss Potts will arrive back later tonight, Happy Feet. Is there anything I can help you with?" FRIDAY politely replied.

"HAPPY FEET?!" he squarked in outrage, "Forget it. Could you just take me to wherever Steve is?"
"Of course."

The elevator began to move and soon stopped at Steve and Bucky's floor. (They aren't together; they just share because Tony didn't feel like losing lab space.)

It was inevitable that the teenagers would be hot on his tail and arrive not long after he did, so Clint had to act fast. He sprinted into the kitchen, frantically searching the cupboards for ammunition. After just ten seconds the floor was littered with unworthy foods and utensils. But that didn't matter; the guns were reloaded.

Unfortunately, all the crashing and commotion had made Steve and Bucky come racing in, fearing attack.

"What the fuck.?" Bucky asked, mouth hanging wide open.
Steve, who had been in a kind of shocked trance, suddenly snapped out of it to scold Bucky with a "Language™" and lifting his hanging chin to close his mouth.

"Clint, what are you doing?" Steve inquired.
"Save me, please," Barton begged, "they're trying to kill me! Murderers! The lot of them!"

Bucky simply rolled his eyes and asked, "How are these four teenagers trying to kill you?"

At that exact moment, the elevator dinged (which is really just a recorded message of Tony saying "ding!") and out stepped the fearsome four.

"Potato guns?" Bucky said, unimpressed.
Shuddering, Clint replied, "You haven't seen what they can do..."

Not caring about the patriot of America and his hair modelling boyfriend, the teens opened fire.

Clint was knocked backwards by the force of the potatoes. Steve looked shocked and disapproving. Bucky was laughing his ass off.

"Hey, kids, you got a spare gun?" the Frosty Flakes soldier asked.

Shuri, Loki, and Harley all looked to Peter, who gave his nod of approval. Then, somehow summoning it from nowhere, Shuri yeeted a potato musket at Bucky.

Clint tried and tried to stand and fight, or even run and hide, yet there was no escape. He tried to make a mad dash for it but the potatoes shot him down, pushing him backwards backwards.

The ostrich was about to go crashing through the window (because damn the author is over-exaggerating the force of potatoes against a fully grown man) when an orange portal opened up, swallowing the chicken whole.

"That bastard," muttered Harley.
"Doctor Strange has him now," Peter confirmed solemnly.
"Well then let's go get him!" Shuri shouted.
"How are we getting there? I think the potato guns would attract too much attention on the Subway..." added Barnes.
"Loki if you'd please?" said Shuri.

Loki sighed and opened up a portal for the five of them. He stood to the side, allowing the others to go in first, and very unenthusiastically saying, "Off you go, let's all visit the wizard."

One by one, they went through the portal.