Tony or Tulsa?

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Mr Stark
Hey, kid, we haven't heard from you in a while, and you missed the internship, is everything alright?

Spidey
Sorry, Mr Stark, I've had a lot on my mind lately...

Mr Stark
You wanna tell me about it?

Spidey
Aunt May got a new job

Mr Stark
That's great!

Spidey
Yeah...
Except it's in Tulsa.
:/

Mr Stark
Oh
I'm so sorry, Petey
I presume you're going with her?

Spidey
I have to.
I've got nobody I could stay with so I have to leave you guys and my friends behind :'(

Mr Stark
That sucks
Even if you did have somewhere to stay, would you really want to leave your aunt?

Spidey
It would be really hard to leave her since she's the only family I've got left but it would be easier and I could visit her.
And without me she wouldn't have to worry about taking care of me and my enhanced metabolism

Mr Stark
I'm sure she doesn't mind taking care of you at all

Spidey
Thanks, Mr Stark, I'm going to miss you
•́  ‿ ,•̀

Mr Stark
No problem, Bambino!
I've got to go to a meeting now, bye!

Spidey
Bye, Mr Stark!
Have a good meeting!

Tony looks up from his phone, a plan already forming in his mind, only to realise that Natasha is standing over him, a knife held dangerously close to his throat.

All the Avengers are staring at him, with sad and concerned looks on their faces, except Clint who is balling his eyes out into Steve's shoulder.

Through gritted teeth Natasha asks, "What are you planning on doing about this?"
Tony doesn't fail to notice the recently sharpened edge of the knife as he answers, "I'm going to adopt him, of course."

The Avengers all stare at him, dumfounded until Wanda speaks up, "Мама, I thought I already asked if we could adopt him..."
"Yes, why should we not be the ones to adopt him, Папа?" Pietro joins in.

Clint is still crying so hard that he's unable to make any sound even close to a word. Instead Natasha replies for him, "Ванда, Пьетро, unfortunately Stark found Cinnamon Roll first, and besides we already have both of you to drive us crazy, let Stark suffer this time!"

For some reason this makes Clint's crying even worse, so now he's blowing his nose on Captain America's shirt. Meanwhile Bruce is awkwardly rubbing circles on Clint's back in a useless attempt to calm him.

Steve looks unbelievably startled by the prolonged wails of the grown man beside him and looks to Bucky for help. Bucky however just laughs and puts his hand on Steve's dry shoulder.

Smirking slightly at his victory, Tony says, "Well that's settled then! I'll fill out the adoption papers and talk to Peter and his aunt to get them to sign too!"

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