Earth Mode ON: THIRTY FIVE

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We layed ourselves on the ground and looked at the night sky

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We layed ourselves on the ground and looked at the night sky. Namjoon has been sitting on his own ever since he argued with Jin and it was worrying me. He was lying on the cold ground on his own. He must have been freezing. We were all feeling cold too, except that our proximity to each other somewhat radiated some heat. The wind blew against us slightly, but despite how faint it was, it didn't fail to send a chill down our spines. I felt all the hair on my body rise as I shivered, and it made me desperate for something warm to hold onto, like my fluffy blanket back at home. It was our first chilly night out on the streets, and it didn't feel well at all.

We all hugged ourselves to keep warm, and each one rubbed his own body with his hands. I was capable of seeing the air coming out from my mouth and the mouths of others. On normal winter days, I'd be thrilled when I see the air come out from my mouth, but tonight, seeing it only scared me. I was scared from what was about to come.

I looked to my side and saw Namjoon on the floor, back facing us. He was far away from our warmth, and I could see that he was hugging his figure. He was shivering all alone on the floor, while we were shivering in each others' warmth.

I stood up and walked to him then sat down next to him. He was probably too focused on keeping himself warm that he didn't notice that someone sat next to him, so I gained his attention by patting him on the back. The moment he felt the pat he immediately sat down straight and tried to stop shivering. He couldn't help it though so every now and then he would let his body release a slight flinch.

My eyes softened when I saw how he tried to smile at me even though he probably couldn't because of how cold he felt, so I allowed myself to smile first.

"Am I allowed to talk to you?" I asked him after staring at him for some time.

He nodded his head and then said," Why would you not be?"

I shrugged and said," You might not feel like talking to me, especially that it is really cold right now."

He smiled then said," No. You can talk to me.  It is alright."

"Alright," I said then looked at the floor for a moment.

"Are you feeling alright? You have been out of mood for some time. I mean, I know, I don't expect you to be all cheery and stuff, it is just that-" I tried explaining myself but he cut me right in the middle.

"Are YOU alright?" he asked me and it caught me off guard.

This shouldn't be about me. It should be about him.

"I-" I stuttered before gulping," I'm fine."

My tears were most probably visible and glittering under the moonlight, and so I had to gulp a couple of times and look down to keep myself from crying.

Why does he have to be like that? Why can't he admit that he is hurt? Why does he always pretend like he is okay?

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