Promise

Chapter 1: Option 1 or Option 2

Promise

It has been about half a month now since I had started the treatment at the hospital. To say the least, I thought that it would have made me more weak. But instead, I was still energetic. Though the bounce that use to be in my steps was gone, I did not lose the happiness and shine that was in my face. Until today that is. 

The doctor annouced to me when I came in for a daily blood test. To say the least, he looked like he was going to give up, and I knew that my feelings would never lie. 

"Promise... there has been no change in your blood count. With all of these treatments going on right now, it should have shown a drastic change! But so far there is none." Dr. Fell stated to me as he stard sometimes at me, then at the sheets in his hands. 

I scrunched up my eyebrows. "What are you doing to do now?" I said in a soft tone. I had a feeling that I knew what he was going to say, but I wanted him to admit it. 

He gave me a sad look. "It is your choice Promise firstly. So what I will give you are two options." 

Two options.... I thought to myself. 

I nodded my head for him to go on. And I can see it in his eyes that he was nervous and scared to say what he wanted to say. 

"Please Dr. Fell. I want to know my only options that I have right now." 

"The first option is that we continue on with the treatment... but we will up the doses. It will be our only chance at seeing if we can destroy the cancer cells." He said. I nodded my head. I did agree with that one. But something in my heart was telling me reject that first option. 

"The second option is.... Promise, this is hard to tell a patient this but you can choose to get off the treatment and let the cancer take its natural course." I could see the pain and sadness in his eyes as he said that to me. 

"The first option Dr. Fell. Will there be any risks?" I said. 

He looked at me and nodded his head. "Yes Promise. There will be risks. The high dosage that we are going to be injecting in you, will greatly change you. Meaning you will be extremely weak to the point where we have to let you stay in the hopsital until we know the cancer cells are gone." 

I nodded my head and then we were in silence once again. What should I do? I knew that I should chose the first one. But once again the feeling in my heart is telling me not too. I don't know but I knew that no matter how much I try to go with my mind, I can never go against my heart. 

The heart holds a more powerful control than your mind. Whatever happens, it was always better to choose your heart. 

But another thing was strange. I already found out my option... and yet I did not feel sad that I was chosing to die. I felt... at ease. Peaceful even. 

Should it be a concern? No not really. I knew from the very start that I was going to die in the end. It was already fated to me. I mean everyone in my past told me in my face that I was going to die. 

That single thought caused a slight pang in my heart. I let out a soft sigh and looked back at the doctor who was waiting patiently for my answer. 

Smiling at him, I stood up causing him to jump in shock. "Did you make a choice yet Promise?" He said as he also stood up staring at me. 

I smiled at him and nodded my head. "Yes... and I decided to go with option 2." I could see that Dr. Fell wanted to say something but I cut him to it, 

"I lived a pretty horrible life Dr. Fell. You already know that from the scars that I have laced around my body." He looked at me with sadness and nodded his head before I continued on.