The Reader's POV: Review Book {CLOSED}

Ohio Chronicles ☆ Agni

Reviewer: agni_infinity

Author: BhaskarChakravorty

WARNING: I am BRUTALLY, yes, BRUTALLY. Honest. You asked for a review, you get an honest, slap-to-the-face review.

First Impressions:

Cover:

Frankly speaking, your cover has potential. It has a good background and all, but the font of the title is very unflattering and ruins the whole aesthetic of your cover.

Also, your subtitle, it should be in a smaller font. Remove the hyphen between the subtitle and the title, it makes the work seem like one of an amateur's. Use a different font for title and subtitle.

Also, your story description reveals the protagonist to be male, so why is the picture in your cover show a young girl? I am really observant. I know... LOL. Humor. I'm sorry, I will continue.

Please edit your cover accordingly.

Title:

The title is very long. But I understand that it is a series. But please don't capitalize the entire title, it is visually very unpleasing and chases the reader away. It sounds like someone is yelling into my ears.

Me: OY!

Reader: Why the eff are you shouting crazy biatch!

Me: OHIO!!!!

reader: *starts running* what the heck?

Me: OHIO CHRONICLES!!

Reader: *has vanished into thin air*

See? No one likes to be yelled at!

Small things like these make a huge difference.

Try this instead:

Ohio Chronicles: The Hill Full Of Secrets

And your subtitle is frankly a bit too plain jane. It's not as mysterious and its not even an alliteration or something. But honestly, it is your wish. The Ohio chronicles is a creative name though.

Blurb:

I really liked the idea of the protagonist and the place having the same name. But...d

"Hi pals! im john ohioSimilar to my name i live in ohio, usJust shifted to this place, got new friends and love me some tracking, me and my friends plan on a trek to the Campbell hill (highest point of Ohio) as the vacations unrollA bunch of sick dudes with names similar to some greek gods on a adventurous hill trekWhat could possibly go wrongRight?MYSTERY, thrill, paranormal activity, sci-fi connectionOr something unthinkable Buckle up this one's a real page turnerYou have been warned!!!! 😉"

So I have hereby underlined the parts I think point to or scream AMATEUR!!!!!

No offense. (Actually... It's for your own good)

Grammar. Good grammar, at least in the description, is very, VERY, important. I understand having to write as a bilingual person is very difficult, or you are just lazy to capitalize, put punctuations [#me]. But, use a grammar tool. Like Grammarly [not sponsored]

Secondly, do something to separate your story description and the tags and authors note or whatever that is.

I think its best not to mention mystery, thrill, panaromal activity in your description. Add those to your tags. Tags automatically are seen under the description and it would also really help boost the reader count. It always helps when your story is on the hotlist for a particular tag.