Plié and Clout

Chapter 47: Thanks, kinda.

HEY! *throws angst at you like flower petals from the flower girl at the wedding*

alright, it's friday, and I'VE GOT NEWS:::::: read it at the end I won't bother you up here.

anyway, happy friday

-rabid

STEPH

Rocket is the only thing keeping me sane. I'm all the way dead getting onto the plane for San José. It's one of those days where all I can manage to do is keep my head down and breathe.

Gage switches seats with Rocket so he can sit next to me, but Rocket spends the whole flight completely asleep next to me.

Nico is the one that asks if I'm feeling alright on the way off the plane. The reason I'm especially feeling not okay is because August posted on instagram for the first time in about three months. It had become some stupid goal of mine to end up on her instagram, but instead of being some cute post with me in it, it's a picture of her and Gabby at a coffee shop with the caption 'no need for that boy here' which hurt. A lot. I'll admit it hurt more than I wanted it to.

"Steph that wasn't an answer." She holds me in the back of the pack, her hand on my stomach to keep me from moving forward. I tried to nod and pass off her question but Nico can see through bullshit.

"I know." I keep my voice down, unable to bring it above a mumble.

"It's the girl, isn't it." She crosses her arms and I stare at the rest of the group walking away. "Come on, Steph, you gotta talk sometime."

I don't talk, instead I hand her the phone, showing her the post.

"Ah, yeah, ouch."

"It's just," I pinch the bridge of my nose. "I had some stupid idea to be in her next post, just a goal in my head. I wanted that, but when the next post is that, it, it's fucking stupid. I should shut up."

"No, no," She's scrolling through the comments. "You were right to want on the page, because half these comments are from guys asking around."

"Don't remind me."

"Right," she hands me back my phone. "I don't want to step too far, but, how's Jills handling this?"

"She hates me," I let out a long breath. "She hasn't talked to me since it happened."

"Right."

"I haven't even talked to her enough to ask her to bring her girlfriend over for dinner yet. She barely lives in the apartment."

"Girlfriend?"

I drag my hands over my face. "Yeah, she's got a girlfriend."

"Cool, I mean," Nico shrugs. "So she's not even home?"

"Maybe a night a week, she's been sleeping at Helen's."

"So she's pissed."

"Yeah." I mumble. "And when she does talk, she just gives me hell for it all over again."

"Wow, alright." Nico mumbles. "So you're in a shitty situation with all the girls in your life."

"Yeah, you're the only one still civil."

"I don't think I count, Steph." She laughs. "Just, tell me if you need a break or need anything at all, I know it hurts."

I nod. "I want what you and Fen have."

"What do you mean?"

"You're always comfortable around each other and fooling around, and you're all over his instagram and he's all over yours and everyone knows about you two, you're just stable."