JB3: The Governor's Secret[ PUBLISHED UNDER ETLUX OC PUBLISHING INC]

33

Narcido Jonas Juariz

"Are you feeling better now?" Ang tanong ko kay Shanice na nakahiga na ngayon sa kama niya.

Umiling ito at humarap sa akin. I was sitting on a chair beside her bed. I'm just waiting for her to calm down so I could go home already. Marami nang oras ang nasayang ko sa babaeng to.

My conscience are eating me habang inaalala ang umiiyak kong asawa. Akala ko mamamatay na ang babaeng ito kaya hindi ko napigilan ang bibig ko sa taranta. I was worried she'd die in front of my family now I just feel like a fucking jerk.

"Narci, why did you marry him? Mahal mo ba talaga siya? You promised me na ako lang ang pakakasalan mo." Ang umiiyak na naman niyang tanong sa akin.

I heaved out a sigh at napahilot sa noo ko. "Shanice, promises are meant to be broken. Denisse and I...we started off on the wrong foot but I want to make us right. When you moved away, I was devastated. Sunod-sunod ang naging problema sa buhay ko. I didn't get to become the husband and the father that I should be, huli man sa mata ng ibang tao pero habang abot-kamay ko pa sila, I'll win them back. And I don't want you here while I'm doing that. I want to build a relationship with my husband where he doesn't feel threatened, insecure and intimidated. I know I've hurt you but I can't do anything about that anymore. I can't love you again dahil asawa ko na ang nagmamay-ari sa akin. Please go home while I'm still good to you," ang mahinahun kong pakiusap sa kanya bago tumayo mula sa kinauupuan ko.

I want to clear everything up AGAIN dahil kulang pa yata ang eksplenasyon ko last week at kahapon. I don't think she'll understand me if I'm too soft on her.

Hindi ko ito hinayaang mag-collapse o mamatay dito sa bahay o isla namin. I don't want her to collapse in front of Denisse or the kids dahil ayokong sisihin nila ang sarili. I saw fear and guilt in my husband's eyes and I don't want to see that for the rest of our lives. Iyon ang ayaw na ayaw kong makita sa mga mukha nila. Ayokong ma-trauma sila sa babaeng ito. She can die anywhere but here. Tangina, kahit magpakatay pa siya sa bahay nila wala akong pakialam.

I was stopped from opening the door nang may yumakap sa akin ng mahigpit mula sa likuran ko. Her body was hot and shaking.

"Jonas, I love you. I love you, please don't leave me, Jonas. Dati-rati ako pa yong mahal mo eh, ako pa yong inaalagaan mo. Wala na ba talaga akong puwang sa puso mo, Jonas? I'll make up for everything, just..just give me one last chance. Kahit gawin mo pa akong kabit for all I care. Basta bumalik ka lang sa akin, please. Please, Narci...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for leaving."

Buong lakas kong tinanggal ang kamay nitong nakakapit sa katawan ko at tuluyang binuksan ang pintuan. I need to go home. I need to cook for dinner.

"I called your brother in Manila. Darating ito bukas para sunduin ka gamit ang barko niyo. Kapag hindi mo na natatanaw ang isla mula sa barko, you're free to jump from there. You can die anywhere but here, Shanice," I suggested before heading off.

Sinigurado ko ring hindi ito magpapakamatay sa kwarto. Ayokong maging hunted room ito. A night here cost a lot, malulugi kami pag nagkataon. Mapapatay ako nila Nathan at Francis if someone associated with me ruined their fucking business.

"You're so heartless, Jonas! How could you do this to me?! WHYYYY! BAKIT ANG BAKLANG YON?! WHYYY?!" Ang tili niya dito sa hallway dahilan para mapatigil ako sa paglalakad. Rinig ko pa ang pagpadyak ng mga paa niya.

Fuck! She's starting to piss me off.

"Ang why can't I fucking do this to you?! You're ruining my marriage, you're scaring my kids and you're being scandalous in my property! Yes, Shanice, I'm a heartless motherfucker who can take your life away pero hindi dito. Naiiintindahan mo? Ayokong mabahiran ng dugo mo itong islang pinaghirapan namin. This is my and my brothers' sacred place. I'm treating you good because I see you as a friend pero 'wag mong hintaying mapuno ako sa'yo. You know me when I'm mad, Tamayo. You don't want to see it again." Ang banta ko dito bago galit na umalis sa harapan niya.