"He asked me when I planned to come back. Always, I said."
-ROBERTO BOLAÑO, SAVAGE DETECTIVES
It was 11:00 p.m., and I was watching a documentary about Joe Exotic and the murder of Carol Baskin's husband when suddenly, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.
"Can I stay here tonight?"
I was surprised to see Nadine standing near the foot of my bed. She was wearing a shirt of mine that went halfway through her thighs, and barefooted. Her eyes were fixated on the floor, and she was almost pouting. I knew that look--like she needed something from you, but she was too proud to admit it.
"I did not hear you come in, sorry." I took my AirPods off, and hid my phone under the pillows. "But you're welcome in my house any time. You know that, right?"
"No, I mean here. Inside your room."
My eyes widened. "Okay?"
Nadine met my eyes for the first time since she walked in. I scooted a little bit so I was on my side of the bed, and she slowly lied down on her side. It felt almost natural, having her presence in this room, hearing her breathing, the smell of her perfume on the sheets.
"Actually, I have another request." I could sense the restraint in her voice. I nodded to give her reassurance to proceed. "I had a bad dream, and I'm really sad. Can we turn off the lights and hug?"
"Okay."
The both of us sat up and everything went autopilot--we knew exactly what to do. I got on my feet and flicked the switch. My back against the headboard, Nadine's weight on my lap, her chin on my shoulder, my arms around her waist.
"Is this okay?" She whispered in my ear, and I felt chills all over my body.
"I'll be whatever you need." I said softly.
This was not new to us. Whenever Nadine was having a bad day or very depressive episodes, she would ask me to hold her like this. And I would let her cry to let all those feelings out, while I rubbed her back in small, comforting strokes.
Sometimes, she would kiss and bite my neck and shoulders to release frustration so I was not surprised when I felt her lips on the space between my jaw and collarbone. I was prepared for it, but I still got a buzzing sensation in the back of my head whenever she did that.
"My heart is really heavy." She sniffed, and her grip tightened around me. Soon, I felt her teeth grazing the skin near my nape and her tongue making lazy circles on the area behind my ear.
There was a wave of pleasure and lust that was moving all throughout my body. The position that we were in was a challenge especially because I was half-naked, and there was only one layer of fabric separating our chests. I was trying very hard not to ruin the moment but she must have noticed that something was different on the part she was sitting on.
"You're aroused." Nadine told me in as-a-matter-of-fact tone and threw her head back in laughter.
"Sorry." I chuckled nervously. "Let's just cuddle."
Nadine pulled away from the hug, cupped my face, and took the time to study my face. The panic and sadness that were in her eyes earlier were replaced by desire and teasing, and to be frank, I was scared of the way she was smirking.
"No. This is way more fun." Her hips adjusted forward, putting more pressure on my groin. "Cute mo." Her fingers started tracing my cheekbones and I swore I felt and heard sizzles on my face. "Your entire face is red."
"Sorry." I repeated. My brain did not have the capacity to think of a better reply, when all I could think of was how she just moved her legs wider apart.
"Don't be. If anything, I'm flattered." She gave me a peck on the lips. "Let's have fun tonight. Talk to me."
"Dirty?" I licked my lips in excitement.
"Up to you." Nadine giggled. "If I like what I hear, my kisses will go lower and I'll take my shirt off."
"You know I'm such a smooth-talker. This would be too easy."
She touched my nose with the tip of her tongue. "Try me."
I heaved a deep breath and tried to focus despite the fact that Nadine's hands were practically caressing my abdomen. "I'm sorry that I made you feel that you lost yourself in my world."
She froze and looked up to meet my gaze.
"If you give me a chance, I would listen to you more. Be more sensitive to your needs. I'm so used to being in control especially with the CEO stuff and I think some of that rubbed off in our relationship."
I tucked some stray strands of hair behind her ears. "I miss you so damn much. I'll always leave the lights on and wait for you to come home. I love you more than my heart can hold."
Nadine stayed still, I worried that I once again killed the mood. I took both of her hands in mine and started kissing her knuckles one by one while I waited for her to respond. After a few seconds, she withdrew her hands and wiped her cheeks. It was only then that I realized that I made her tear up.
But before I could say something, she smiled and responded, "Why did I even ask you to talk? I should have just sat on your face to shut you up and asked you to fuck me."
So from that point forward, as someone who vowed to listen to her more, there was less talking and a lot of working.
—
I woke up to the sight of Nadine naked and checking herself out in the full-length mirror. She probably caught me staring, and turned around so I could see better. "Good morning to James Reid, only."
"What were you doing?" I asked while I enjoyed the view.
"Wala lang. Feeling ko my boobs got bigger." Nadine hurried to the bathroom and went out wearing my robe. "Probably the sex 'no?"
"You don't need to worry about your physique, you're perfect." I blew her a kiss.
She made a face. "Sipsip. I know you only want me to move back in eh."
"Yes, that. And I love you, Nadine."
"I love you, love." I was surprised to hear her say it so casually. Before I could react, she continued, "Pero those sheets look ugly pala, 'no? I don't like it. We need new duvets-"
I jolted upward, still in shock that she finally said it back. "Nadine, I love you."
She sat next to me on the bed, looked me in the eye and spoke slowly. "I love you, too."
"You make me so happy." I blurted out and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"I'm so glad to hear that, but the way you changed your fabric conditioner doesn't make me happy. I like the hypoallergenic ones. I'm not going to sleep in this bed again if it smells like this."
You would not believe how fast I got ready so that I could take her to the grocery.
-A/N: Hello. You've reached the end of this series po. Thank you so much for reading. Thank you din po for all the support despite being MIA for years. Thank you for keeping up with all the kalat. Hahaha. Love and light to you guys! And, JaDine pa rin, mga ulol.
