BOHEMIA

emotions (with writinginprocess)

I've had writer's block for as long as I can remember;
But, this happy ending is something I'll cherish forever.
Emotions are like a rainbow; a range of colors tangled together.

On a gusty November night,
I sit on the rooftop of the small building where I live.
And, briefly, I stare out at the humble view that lay before me.
And even in my dimly lit neighbourhood;
I catch a glimpse of the lonely bus stop before I close my eyes.
Then, I think of the evening drives with my mother;
And the feel of my older brother's shirts that I secretly wore to school.
I recall the smell of autumn and the song that my father hummed during breakfast.
I continue to reminisce until the memories become too vivid;
Forcing me to open my tired eyes.

You can paint me in all of your wildest emotions;
I am a blank canvas.
I've drowned in one too many oceans;
Making time for sweet remembrance.
I'll love you until I'm bored;
Like a movie that never gets old;
I have emotions but they're lost in my art;
Can you tell me when I've gone too far?

My phone keeps telling me that I should be sad;
That I should look like a stick and be okay with that.
But, as I've said countless times before,
I think conforming is a societal chore.
And I don't want to be anything like the next guy;
I can't live a life plagued by "why?".
I'm enamoured by Paris at midnight;
And by Shakespeare's fear of an empty life.
I have emotions; as I'm sure you do too;
But can you answer this question: "who are you?".

I think of you; the youthful you that never went a day without smiling;
Our synchronised laughs that matched the booming energy of fireworks on the Fourth of July.
The warmth that you radiated when you passed by me;
A sigh escapes my lips as I lay down on the blanket I had already spread beforehand;
And I close my eyes but this time I quickly slip into slumber;
And slip all the way into a dream where I meet you once again.

I've got this idea in my head;
Rose petals, champagne and sunsets.
There's the aromas of warm bread filling the air;
I think I may have forgotten how to care.
When the sun goes down and the stars illuminate the night;
I think we should take this illustrious moment inside.
Douse ourselves in home-made, knitted blankets;
We can choose to either feel peace or panic.

I've had writer's block for as long as I can remember;
But, this happy ending, is something I'll cherish forever.
Emotions are like a rainbow; a range of colors tangled together.

I've had a lot of time to think over the last few months;
And I've been searching for a way to try and cope;
To cope with a wounded soul; to cope with unattainable goals.
And I've come to the realisation that I can't control what I feel;
And sometimes I don't know which emotions are real.
Is love always this agonising?
Is fear always this safe?
Is happiness always this paralysing?
Is sadness always this great?

I've had writer's block for as long as I can remember;
But, this happy ending, is something I'll cherish forever.
Emotions are like a rainbow; a range of colors tangled together.

This poem was written in June 2020, in collaboration with writinginprocess. Thank you for writing this poem with me!