Cinders [Completed]

Chapter 48: A Royal Introduction

Lucy was the first person to call me "Lee." It was her first word. Mom had been at her worst, right after Lucy had been born, and when, at 10 months old, her blabber reconciled itself into recognizable speech, I was the one most likely to respond to it. My entire first name was a mouthful for her, but she could repeat "Lee" as much as she wanted. Jonah and Mom adopted the name quickly, but Dad never quite could. He thought it wasn't proper, but Mom and Jonah still called me "Lee" if Dad wasn't there. Because I was Lee. I am Lee, now, because of her.

From the moment she was born, she was a part of me.

Goddess, who would I be if I lost her?

-

I have finally mastered walking.

That doesn't sound impressive, but it is, if we're talking about Delta Whitlock's standards. It is natural, for me, now, to stand with my shoulders straight, neck held long in the back, legs steady and sure.

I like it. I think it makes me look different. And I am different. Not so timid and afraid as I used to be. I like that people can see it in my very footsteps.

I look at myself in the floor-length mirror, trying to convince myself of these things.

The dress I'm wearing covers everything. Well, almost everything. The scars on my back are protected with the yellow fabric that gathers at my waist, and it hides my shoulders entirely. This is the biggest relief, for me. It does not cover, however, the large mark shining on the side of my neck.

It is a beautiful dress, but I don't know how beautiful it makes me feel. I examine myself in the mirror, and the dress is all golden and dripping in light, and if I squint hard enough, I look perfectly in place. But when I open my eyes, I see a pale imposter in a pretty dress, nervous and gangly and frail. I touch the mark on my neck, still unused to seeing it there.

"Are you sure you won't come?" I ask Joanne, nerves shaking my voice.

I had asked if she would be willing to come and help me with getting ready - especially the makeup side of things. I still feel trepidation about any makeup, but I wanted to try it, today, and I knew it would be easier to take if Joanne was helping me.

Joanne laughs incredulously. "Thank you, Lee, but I'm not fancy enough t' even serve at the Introduction."

"I don't care about that," I assure her, latching tightly on to one of her hands. "I could get you a dress and a place right next to me and you would look fancier than most of the betas."

Joanne gives me a coaxing look. "Lee, I know you're nervous about it 'n all, but you're gonna be just fine."

What if they don't like me? I want to ask.

I swallow. Joanne releases my hands and turns to the door.

"I've gotta finish settin' up downstairs," she says apologetically. "You look beautiful, Lee."

I laugh, but force out a "Thank you."

Joanne puckers her face at me. "I'm serious," she says. "Cmon, really look at yourself."

So I do.

My skin has gotten some color. My cheeks were previously hallowed and my eyes were perpetually tired, but now, my face has a sort of soft fullness to it. The eyeliner Joanne had applied makes the paleness of my irises look sort of ethereal.

I'm, kind of, pretty.

This is really more startling than it should be. Lucy, one of the most beautiful people I've ever met, is my sister, after all. But I'd given up any idea that Lucy and I had beauty in common. Everything I used to think was beautiful about me - my smile, my thick hair, my skin - had decayed so long ago.