Being around you feels
like being ripped apart
by two forces inside me
One remembers
the first time you made me feel special to you
how you convinced me that I could feel safe
wrapped up in your arms
it holds brief glimpses of a future
I had imagined long ago
and abandoned when
our chances of
happily ever after were blown
The other remembers
a blur of tears and screaming
on the side of a freeway
and it remembers a heart thrown
across a highway
breaking into a million shattering pieces,
the sharp intensity of your squeezes
you shook me and a world of memories fell
leaving broken images and collapsed neuro-pathways
to lie in wait after the disaster
parts of my mind now resemble Baghdad
because of you
and a big part of me remembers that
and never wants to revisit the old country
for fear that it's rundown buildings
are full of rotting animals
and disease carrying rats
to infect the rest of my mind
or maybe that the nuclear reactor
you set off in me is still leaking
radioactive material,
better to stay away
until you're sure you won't get cancer
from going back to your old home,
the place where you once felt safe
where you once knew love and hope
and had plans for renovation
but now it's nothing but a crumbled
memory of what used to be
and a reminder to not trust certain people
with your atomic flowers
someday flowers may grow there again
but for now the sign reads:
DANGER
HIGH RADIATION AREA
YOU ARE READING
Poems
PoetryI write poetry to try to cope with my emotions and find a path forward. Here are some poems I wrote when I needed to figure things out.
