Chap 3- Do Bol

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"Ammi me yeh nahi karsakti...me esay anjan shaks ..matlab me..ammi!" Qirat complained whilst sat in the white dress she had originally bought for Kinzas walimah, the dress was paired with a red duppata which was her mothers wedding duppata and was now draped on her head veiling her face.

(Ammi I cannot do this..to that unknown person..i mean..ammi!)

"Meri jaan mujhey maaf kardo lekin mujhey thumari izat azeez hai..thumey apni izat ke liye yeh karna hoga..warna thumara jeena mushkil kardeinge log..mujhey maaf kardo" Shabana explained.

(My darling forgive me but i cannot tolerate a disrespected life for you..you must do this for your honour..or society will make it difficult for you to live..forgive me)

Being a single mother on such society showed Shabana how ugly this society could be to woman, and how easily they could tarnish their respect, she didn't want Qirat to have to face any such miseries. "Mujhey maaf kardo meri jaan" Shabana repeated.

(Forgive me my darling)

"Ammi aap essey na bollein please..warna me toh marjaungi" Qirat said cupping her mothers cheek and then hugging her. Both the mother daughter sobbed till disturbed by a knock on the door.

(Ammi don't speak like this please..or I'd die)

"Woh Qaazi sahab agaye hein" Uroosa informed.

(The imam has arrived)

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The qaazi asked her the question again after not receiving an answer the first time.. with her crying veiled face she looked up to her mothers expectant face..she shut her eyes tightly and said the words that tied her to an unknown man legally for life.

Qirat's POV

"Qabool hai..Qabool hai..Qabool hai"

(Accepted..accepted..accepted)

'Kehke do bol me ek umr guzaroon kesai?'- Do bol
(How do I spend an entire lifetime having said a word)

My fate was sealed and disregarding the circumstances my family came to congratulate me.

Ammi held my hand and took me to the door. I didn't dare to look up when Ammi placed my hand in is large one. Jolting at the sudden contact my hand froze in his held. And Ammi began giving me duas and practically pleading him to take care of me.

I was never one to fantasise over 'how my wedding would be' but this was definitely something I had never considered. I was sent back with him. I sat in the jeep beside a Falak who was trying to yet again console me whilst HE sat next to the driver on the front seat.

"Falak...Falak Ammi let me go" I complained to Falak..pushing my head into her shoulder whilst she ran her hand up and down my back trying to soothe me.

"shshshsh..har kam me Allah ki behtari hoti hay..uski zaat pe bharosa rakho" she told me, giving me just enough courage to stop crying.

(In everything god has hidden some good fate for us..believe in him)

Once again I come back to the Haveli.

"Bano! Bano!" yelled my 'husband' when we entered the haveli.A middle aged woman came infront of us "ji sahab?" she asked with her head bowed down in respect.

(Yes sir?)

"Inko humare kamrey me lejayen" he instructed pointing towards me..No! I don't wan't to go to his room..godknows what could happen..no! I'm not going!

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