Jahlil POV
4 MONTHS LATER
I've been pretty messed up over these past few months. Everything just seems so unreal.
I haven't told Malachi yet but I've been secretly cutting again.
Not enough to do any damage but enough to make me forget or a second.
I just feel so lost. So guilty.
I never gave her a chance to explain.
All because I'm selfish.
Im currently sitting on our bed on my laptop waiting for him to put Messiah to sleep.
He's had a cold recently and wasn't letting us forget it.
(About 30 min later when Malachi's done with Messiah.)
"Hey baby." He smiles entering our room.
I give him a slight nod going back what I was doing.
"So I've been thinking we could take the kids somewhere. Like a park or a place for little babies I've seen some onli-I don't think I'm really up to it." I cut him off.
"And why not?" He raises a brow.
He can't be serious right now.
"Jahlil everyone grieves in different ways but it's been months and we haven't done anything with the twins since what happened." He tries to reason.
"Funny you'd say that." I snicker unamused.
"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks seriously.
"It means you've never liked her. You're probably happy she's gone." I roll my eyes.
"What the hell Jahlil?" He whisper yells. Mindful of Messiah not waking up.
"I know what it's like to lose a parent and I love you to much to ever wish that on you!" He continues.
"Yea well she'd still be here if it wasn't for you!" I yell suddenly.
He looks taken back.
"What?"
"Yea! If it wasn't for you and the fucking kids then i wouldn't have lost my relationship with her!!" I shout with tears streaming down my eyes.
"Baby you don't mean that." He says more to himself.
"Yes I do. I hate you. You're the worst thing that's ever happened to me!" I say with venom laced in my voice causing him to give me a look of shock and hurt.
He breathes in before speaking.
"I'm gonna wait til my baby's born because I care about what happens to them and you while your pregnant. And once you give birth you can leave or me and my 'fucking kids' can leave." He says calmly before getting up and walking out.
I immediately break down and start sobbing.
What have I done?
(The next morning)
I wake up to the smell of breakfast being made making me smile.
I get up and head to the kitchen to see Malachi shirtless making food.
He glances at me before going back to what he was doing.
He was making my favorite.
A bacon, sausage, and cheese omelette.
