Bad Decisions - Alex Turner

29. Alex, Band Guy

  "I dunno what I'm gonna do without ya while we're touring," Alex said as we sat around in a lounge area, waiting for them to be called for boarding. Their visit had gone by so fast, I felt like I hadn't seen them all nearly enough and now they were already off until next year.

  "If you've got any shows in LA I'll come watch," I said, admiring his angular eyebrows and how his smile completely changed his face from cool and mysterious to childish and glowing.

  "We'll get you backstage then," Alex smiled. "Won't 'ave ya crushed in the general admission."

  The people around us started rising out of their seats as the cue to say it was time for goodbyes. As we all stood, Alex and the rest of the guys put sunglasses on as paparazzi was expected at the gate. I had to leave them here.

  "Be safe okay?" I said, hugging Nick tight as everyone picked up their stuff to head off. "I'm gonna miss you."

  "I'll miss you too," Nick said, "call me the next time Christian screws you over like your anniversary, me and Jamie will 'ave a go at him."

  This did bring a laugh to my lips, "thank you for the offer. I'll digest it while you're gone."

  "Have a good Christmas yeah?" Matt said as I was hugging him goodbye.

  "You too," I said, "and a new year." It was somewhat sad that I wouldn't be spending any more time with any of them this year. Over Christmas and New Years they were going to be in England, I was going to be up in Portland. I was gonna miss them all like crazy.

  Second to last was Arielle on the list of goodbyes I had to bid before I ran out of time and they were all whisked away onto the plane. She hugged me tight and told me how much she was gonna miss me and her joking around together all the time and that as soon as we were both in LA, we had to catch up immediately. She was always so sweet and enjoyable to be around and was the reason I pushed any stray thoughts about Alex away. I couldn't and wouldn't do that to her and put my selfishness above her happiness. And as from the beginning, she was just too kind to envy.

  Last of course, was Alex. The first thing he did was wrap me tight in his arms and hold onto me as though he was saving me from falling off a cliff.

  "Thanks for everythin'," he said quietly into my ear so Arielle wouldn't hear. He looked much less doubtful now after we spoke on Thanksgiving and talked about him and Arielle. "I'll miss you so much."

  "If you ever need to talk again," I said, hugging him tight in my arms for as long as I could before he left, "I'm only a phone call away. No matter the time of day, don't hesitate to call me."

  Alex tightened his grip on me, "thank you so much," he whispered into my ear. My knees almost went week as he pressed his lips very briefly to my cheek as he pulled back. "Call me on Christmas," Alex said, moving his hands from around me and fixed how his sunglasses sat on his nose.

And then not long after, they were gone onto their flight, and a few weeks later I was back at the airport, this time alone and waiting to take a flight of my own.

It was a breath of fresh air, literally and figuratively, to fly out of LA for the first time in over a year. It was a weight off my shoulders. Just refreshing really to touch down in Portland to see my family for the holidays. I was so glad that year was coming to an end and that it was going to end on a good note.

The toxicity of the city of angels was left in the backseat the second I spotted my family at the airport. All smiles and hugs and playful banter. All well needed for my own mental state. Since their visit when I graduated college, I had been missing my family like crazy.