( 5 YEARS AFTER )
TAEHYUNG LOOKED OVER the crowd. there must have been at least one hundred people watching him, bathing in the dim purple light of the club, as he clutched tightly to his cherry red Gibson Memphis. nerves were trying to take over his body, but it only improved the pizzicato of his performance. his heart kept time with the drums, pumping the music through his veins as he lost himself in the performance. eventually, he lost all sense of everything except for the music.
he lived for music. if he could hear it played live he began to tingle, even for a solitary instrument. there was something about the vibrations that felt so heavenly, as if it were liquid energy seeping right through his skin.
after the performance, night rolled up pretty fast and it was already dawn hours. taehyung makes his way towards his apartment as he slumps into the nearest couch. all around the walls, he sees all of his best pictures. their pictures.
he used to never look at their best photographs, always afraid that they would become worn, sun bleached or damaged. but he was mistaken. these pictures were just conduits to my best memories, the ones that are not fantastic enough or traumatic enough to leave a permanent mark on their own. his recollections are quite the opposite of these celluloid stills, unless he visits them often they will fade; and with them the very best of everyone who has blessed his life will vanish from his mind also- as if none of it ever happened.
as if in an instance, his eyes snapped open, and he grabbed his car keys, feeling utterly melancholic all of a sudden. he picked up his jacket and left, not forgetting to close the doors after looking at their faces one last time.
cold wind gushed, making eerie sounds, causing her body to shiver. he wrapped his arms around himself, his slender fingers intertwining the scabious flowers. his footsteps matched rhythms with the leaves of the trees, blowing. his heart was suddenly starting, to get warm.
he was now standing infront of an old broken fence, which had almost fallen off. only kept there as a show piece maybe. a little hard touch, the fence would fall shattering to the ground.
just like his heart did, four years ago.
he opens the fence, and stumbled his way onto his grave. jeongguk's grave.
"with us one moment, away in the next. gone to his maker, gone to his rest." these words were beautifully carved on his grave. he could feel it by her touch. he knelt down, keeping the flowers there.
the tears flowed unchecked down his cheeks and dripped from his chin. he was too sad to cry out or wail, he just sat there as still as a statue while the magnitude of hid loss swept over him.
even after four years, when he came to his grave, hid eyes would brim with tears once more, as if all those years had passed in a matter of seconds and he would say nothing.
for once again he was lost in the moment. it was a moment that carried him forward until only death could release him from it's clutches. he was forever tormented by a past that could not be undone. he was so much gripped by his past, he just couldn't move on. he missed jeongguk. he always did. and he missed what bangtan used to be.
