Infinity||H.S.

BONUS CHAPTER: LONDON.

"I must admit I thought I'd like to make you mine
As I went about my business through the warning signs
End up meeting in the hallway every single time
And there's nothing we can do about it
Told it to her brother and she told it to me
That she's gonna be angel, just you wait and see
When it turns out she's a devil in between the sheets
And there's nothing she can do about it
Hey, hey"

****

London
14, December 2015

Harry

I don't know why I'm doing this, but I can't contain this feeling anymore.

I just poured out all my fears and anxiousness and she heard me without judging me like she always does. I knew I should have talked to her sooner, I know she's the only one beside mum and Gem that knows what to say when I feel like this, but I was - and still am - scared. Telling her was the last straw and now everything feels real. It's happening. I'm on my own now, no more band, no more One direction. It'll be just me, just Harry.

Knowing she is by my side made my heart swell and all the feelings I was trying to forget about since that night in LA came back on full force, making my mind go blank and my heartbeat speed up.

I need to have her, I don't care what happens after. I don't care if I'm still not sure about what this is, I want her.

I need to take my mind off of all it's happening in my life, the new contract, my still uncertain career and what I already signed for.

I know I should tell her about Kendall and what they asked us to do in St Barts but I don't know why, I can't.

I don't know to be judged, I don't want Elle to tell me what I'll do is wrong. I already know. Act like me and Kendall are a couple only to have some pictures taken by paparazzi on the yacht in St Barts isn't something I'm proud of, but I have to.

And I know I shouldn't be kissing my best friend if in a few weeks I' ll be doing the same with Kendall only for some publicity.

I shouldn't kiss her in the first place, I shouldn't feel this consuming desire towards her, but I do and I'm sick of try and act like it's not there.

Seeing her sitted on my bathroom counter, dressed with just my button-down and a pair of my boxers briefs sent my hormones in overdrive and her loving words only added wood to the fire that for a long time now burned inside of me. When I hugged her, standing in between her legs, and her sweet scent hit my nostrils I knew I was done for. All I could think about was her, her plump lips on mine again, her smooth skin under my fingertips.

That's why I fucked up my common sense and let go of any inhibition or thought that told me to take a step back and tried to kiss her, waiting for to decided what to do.

I'm an asshole, I know. I'm selfish, I know. I'm about to ruin everything between us just for a fuck and raise a doubt I had since Paris. And yes, I'm using her in some way. If I didn't tell her what has been on my mind lately and she didn't give me the answer she did, probably this wouldn't be happening. Probably now I wouldn't be standing in between her legs with a painful hard-on while my mouth devours hers and my hands roam her almost bare body.

I never wanted someone so much in my life and it scares me. Maybe it's because she's my best friend and knows everything about me. Maybe it's because in the last two years she turned in to a beautiful, sexy woman or maybe it's because I feel a deep affection towards her, something that didn't really happen with all the other girls I've been with.