ALPHA GREY (Re-written)

Chapter 9

The plan was set in motion.

I returned home more hopeful than I was when I’d left. I stayed clear off my parents, knowing I probably wouldn’t bare lying to their face. If I am to pull this off, I need them to believe that nothing has changed. I remain livid and hopeless. I head up to my room to begin packaging for my departure. I fit only what I needed into my backpack before I began to pen down my goodbyes to parents and Sam. I knew it would break their hearts but I saw no other way out. The absence of choice has the power to make one resort to extreme measures of survival.

Dear Mom and Dad

By the time you read this letter I’ll be long gone. I know not where the road will lead but I am hopeful that one day it will lead me back to you. I need to walk this journey on my own. Don’t try to look for me. Please understand and respect my decision. Do not worry about my safety, I will be fine. You have taught me how to take care of myself, please trust that I will do so without fail.

You have both been nothing short of amazing parents. Though our parting moments may have been filled with anger and sadness, I will carry in my heart all the happy moments we shared together. I love you both beyond what I can express. It is in knowing that I cannot bare to live without you in my life that I have taken this decision. It may seem drastic but it sure beats the only other choice set out for me. I am hopeful that our paths will cross again someday.

For now, may you always remember that I will forever love and appreciate you. I am thankful for everything you have done for me and for the young strong black woman you have raised me to become. Take care of each other. Until we are reunited again, may your love for each other keep you strong. I know the love you both have for me will give me the strength that I need to survive.

I love you.

Forever yours

Blythe

A lone tear slipped past my cheek down to the paper in my hand as I concluded the letter. Two letters, one for Sam and the other for my parents. There would be no time to bid Sam farewell and letting her in on the plan was out of the question. I love Samantha dearly but she cannot keep a secret to save her life. Keeping her in the dark is for her own safety. Maybe someday when the dust settles, I will explain everything and hopefully she will have forgiven me and come to understand why we took the decision to leave the pack.

“All set for tomorrow?” Ben peaks through the door.

“Hey Kiddo. I know this is hard but I promise it will get better. We never intended for you to find out the way you did, we were only trying to protect you. We should have never kept it secret. I know you might still be angry and mostly scared about how things will turn out, Trust that it will get better with time.” He continues when I don’t acknowledge his presence.

“I love you dad.” I whisper as he leaves.

“I love you too kiddo. Get some rest.”

“Tell momma I love her.” I add, biting back the tears I was holding in.

“I will.” He leaves, oblivious to what was about to happen.

That night under the blanket of darkness I climbed out the window of my bedroom, my face smothered in tears as I bid a silent goodbye to my former life. Just as planned, Xander waited for me on his bike. We rode off towards an uncertain future under the light of a star filled night sky. His car, stocked with everything we’d need lay wait at our spot by the lake. The weight of what we were about to do hit me the moment I watched Xander input the coordinates of my set destination on the GPS.

A whirlwind of emotion blew in our midst as we said our temporary goodbyes. For the umpteenth time that day, I found comfort in his warm embrace as he enveloped me in his arms. We let the silence saturate the air between us as our eyes locked. My mind takes a bit to register what is happening as I feel his soft lips crush against my own. It is gentle almost hesitant as I stand unmoving, dumbstruck. Soon my lips find his rhythm, moving in sync with his. He takes that as a prompt to deepen the kiss. Though a part of me wants to enjoy it, I feel a pang of guilt at the pit of my stomach.

I clear my throat as we break apart. He simply places a gentle kiss on my forehead before opening the door for me. We silently say goodbye, our eyes communicating what our mouths couldn’t. I waved goodbye as I drove off into the night, confusion heavy on my mind. My heart was breaking while simultaneously being mended by a future I had complete control over.

Maybe the kiss would complicate our friendship or maybe it was just what I needed. I couldn’t settle for what was truth. What I knew with certainty was that I had left my mate, the one man destined to be by my side for eternity and fell into the arms of another…my best friend. The former was probably the root of my unwarranted guilt that or I felt I was taking advantage of Xander.

We’d never given much thought to how the feelings we’ve harboured for one another would blossom if we allowed them reign. Now we would have to confront it, for we’d made a pack to stick together through this foreign journey we are about to embark on. Deep down I know that all this could come to an abrupt end the moment he finds his mate. It was selfish of me to wish that our time together be prolonged yet I could not help how I felt. The thought of going at this alone was much scarier than I cared to admit. At some point I would have to learn to stand on my own without a clutch.

My heart grew heavier at the inevitable truth that one day I would have to let go of yet another person that I loved. I had already given up too much but I hadn’t been given much choice. The moon goodness dealt me a hand that would assure my destruction forcing me to rewrite destiny. I would have had to say goodbye either way, at least this way it was on my terms and not at the command of a clearly looney handsome blue eyed Alpha whose smile was etched at the forefront of my memory.

After a three-hour drive, I finally reach my destination. The eerie silence surrounding the unkept cabin has the hairs on my skin upright. I will myself past the threshold into the cabin. Contrary to the outside the inside was cosy and warm. I used my phone to find the light switch. Though a bit dusty, I could tell the cabin was quite charming. I peeled off the covers protecting the furniture before texting Xander to let him know that I had arrived safely. I went in search for the bedroom to lay my head down, spent from the events of the past few days.

That night I dreamt of a certain blue eyed stranger that had changed the course of my life in a matter of minutes.