The Damaged

Chapter Sixteen

The next week is the same. Everyday we sit in the hallway, get called into the simulation room, see one of our fears and get sent back into the compound as if nothing ever happened.

It feels like all the initiates are drained, nothing comes good out of being stabbed by a needle and seeing what you're most afraid of every day.

"I wish we were allowed out of the compound without a Dauntless member" Mia sighs while staring at the bowl of cold oatmeal in front of her.

"Where would you go if we could?" Tara asks, tearing her slice of toast into tiny pieces. There's already a small pile on her plate.

"I want to go see the big trees in the fields of Amity. I miss leaning on the trunks and watching the clouds pass" Mia sighs, lifting her spoon and pouring the oatmeal back into the bowl.

"I wouldn't mind seeing that, it sounds peaceful," Tara drops the rest of the bread to lean her arms on the table for support.

"The Abnegation would go help the Amity with the harvest. I remember picking apples..." I join in, still staring at my untouched food.

"I remember seeing the Abnegation before fall" Mia says with her head raised. "I remember trying to talk to the children but it felt like they were told not to say anything to us."

My eyes lift towards hers for a moment, I see how big the bags under her eyes are now. She's been crying herself to sleep all week.

"I think we were just afraid of human contact outside of the Abnegation Sector" my mouth twitches into an almost grin, thinking of how my mother would help me reach for the apples I couldn't reach.

"So you were bred from the start to become a Stiff" Tara chuckles.

"I guess you can see it that way" I glance at her, she looks as tired as we all feel. I don't think she's been sleeping at all.

I've only been sleeping a few hours every night, waking up early enough to do a run around the compound and get first dibs on the good food- not that I'd take anything, I've been barely eating.

"It's hard to believe this is almost over" Mia looks back and forth between Tara and me. It's true, today was our last day of stage two and tomorrow is our final examination. Then that's it of initiation; we'll officially be part of Dauntless.

"I don't even know what I'm going to pick as a job" Tara moans. "If anything good is left."

"I think I'll work in the medical sector, my mother's a healer for Amity so I think I can do some good here" Mia brightens up, just the slightest.

"I haven't thought about it," I sigh. I've been too preoccupied trying to hide my secrets from the simulation, not wanting to attract the Erudite again.

"I can see you working everywhere" Tara studies me. I can barely see myself even being a janitor here.

"You're a fast learner, maybe you can work with computers or something" Mia shrugs.

They go on and on about potential jobs for me and themselves while I begin to zone out. My eyes scan the room and settle just in time to watch Four and Zeke put their trays away and enter the bridge over the Chasm.

We've both been in a mood in the last few days. Either he's gone or sleeping, I tend to stay in the dorms until someone reminds me of a meal time. We haven't had a talk since the investigation.

From here, I watch the two of them get stopped by Uriah; Zeke's younger-but taller- brother. He looks serious and tired from a run, his chest moves up and down rapidly. Something must be wrong.