The Damaged

Chapter Twenty

Today's the first day we're allowed to sit with other Dauntless rather than just our fellow initiates. It feels strange to sit away from where I usually do, even if I did earlier in the day, but it's something we all have to be accustomed to.

Mia, Tara and I sit at a new table with Shauna and her sister Lynn along with her friend Marlene. I've met them briefly before, they're a few years younger than us but seem to fit right in.

I silently eat my lunch while listening to everyone bicker. Lynn and Marlene discuss their own future initiation with Shauna filling in the gaps, Mia and Tara try to decide on what to get for the apartment. I keep glancing towards the doors to see if Four is walking through them, but he's nowhere to be found.

Just when I'm taken off guard, a tray slams on the spot beside me. I look over to see Four and Zeke sit, a running figure comes toward us; Uriah, I figure.

"Hey" I look at him, he has the crease between his eyebrows. Our eyes meet and he immediately tries to read me.

It takes a moment for him to let go of my eyes to look at Zeke, they must've been in mid conversation before they sat down.

"I didn't miss anything—Max came to see me earlier" Four finishes his sentence, we all missed the context. What did Max have to do with anything?

Everyone who sits at our table stops what they're doing to look at Four. He tells us a vague story of how Max came to his apartment in the morning as a way to recruit him. The image of Amar's memorial comes to mind, Max came to see Four then to talk about his future here too.

Four as one of the leaders of our faction... there's a moment of pride, yet we both know there's something going on behind the closed doors. What would Max possibly want with Four?

I'm the only one who's puzzled by his news, everyone around me has smiles and gives impressed looks.

"I guess we should have tried harder in initiation, huh?" Shauna leans her head on her folded hands directly towards Zeke.

"Or killed him before he could take his final test" Zeke smolders.

"Or both" Shauna grins at Four. "Congrats, Four. You deserve it."

"Yeah, congratulations" Mia smiles, she had her chin resting on her palm.

Four looks at everyone, his eyes wide with slight embarrassment. "Where did you guys end up?"

"Control room" Zeke splits a carrot in half. "My mom used to work there, and she taught me most of what I'll need to know already."

"Hey! Me too" Tara smiles from across the table, they fist bump.

"I'm in the patrol leadership track.... thing" Shauna shrugs. "Not the most exciting job ever, but at least I'll get to be outside."

"Yeah, let's hear you say that in the dead of winter when you're trudging through a foot of snow and ice," Lynn rolls her eyes. She stabs at a pile of mashed potatoes with her fork. "I better do well in initiation. I don't want to get stuck at the fence."

"Didn't we talk about this?" Uriah asks. "Don't say the 'I' word until at most two weeks before it happens. It makes me want to throw up."

"Stuffing yourself up to your eyeballs with food, that's fine?" Four asks with his head tilted. Uriah just rolls his eyes and looks at his mountain of food, stabbing a fork into his mashed potatoes and taking a bite.

"Well, I'm going to be working in the medical center. My mom was a healer back in Amity so I've learned a lot from her" Mia grins.

Four nods then settles his blue eyes back on me. I immediately want to be swallowed by the darkness. "What about you?" he mumbles.

I set my cheek on my fist with a grin. "Social work."

He makes a face. "You pick that over every other job? You could've been anything."

"I happen to like my choice, thank you" I roll my eyes, pulling myself away from his gaze to face my food.

"You were ranked third on the list and you picked that?" Lynn asks from across the table, a few people down but still talks over everyone else. "That's so lame." Shauna nudges her.

"She can still take down all of our asses, don't let the good-doer side of her fool you" Shauna defends me. I feel thankful.

"Not number one, though" Zeke nudges Four.

"I can't believe we have two of the highest ranking people on the list as friends, I'm totally going to use that line when we get to In-" Lynn starts but Uriah narrows his eyes with food ready to fling at her, "you know what I mean."

"Hey, I'll be right back" Zeke stands abruptly, walking towards something with a plan.

We all watch Zeke walk away from the table to a group of people I don't recognise. Mostly made of girls. When I look back in front of me, Shauna just smears food all over her cheek from being distracted. Lynn snorts into her food, there's movement under the table of someone kicking their leg at her.

"So" Marlene claps her hands together. "Do you know of anyone else who's doing that leadership program, Four?"

"Come to think of it, I didn't see Eric there today, either," Shauna chimes in. "I was hoping he tripped and fell into the chasm, but..."

I think back to earlier in the day and realize I don't remember seeing Eric either. Could he have been recruited like Four? The thought of him being a leader makes me want to stab something. Eric is clearly working with Erudite, how could he act if he was in charge of a whole faction? It's unbearable just to think about.

Zeke suddenly appears back on Four's side with a wide smile on his face. "Four. What are you doing tomorrow night?"

"I don't know," he responds, "nothing?"

"Not anymore" Zeke claps Four's back. "You're coming with me on a date."

Four coughs on the potatoes he just swallowed. I go stiff, dropping my fork on my tray with my hand still in midair.

"I hate to tell you this, big brother," Uriah smirks, "but you're supposed to go on dates alone, not bring a friend."

"It's a double date, obviously" Zeke rolls his eyes. "I asked Vera out, she said something about finding a date for her friend Nicole, and I indicated that you would be interested."

Four glances at me. I feel my face going hot.

"Why would I be interested? You know about me and Amalia" Four looks a bit angry. Maybe we could take turns punching Zeke's face.

"I didn't think it was serious. But would you think about it? You wouldn't have to kiss her or anything like that, I just really want to go out with her and she won't go unless I have someone for Nicole. You're the only guy friend I have" Zeke pleads.

"Hey!" Uriah complains with a mouth full of food.

Four looks at me again; though the lighting is dark and there's a tint of blue, his cheeks begin to flush.

We still have yet to discuss what's happening between us. What we are, if it's what we both really want. I know it is for me, but is it for him?

"I can't, sorry" Four looks back at Zeke with a shrug then goes back to his food.

Zeke groans and scans the room. "Fine" he walks away again.

Shauna's chair screeches against the pavement floor, she stands and walks out of the room with anger written across her face. Lynn is quick to follow behind her.

I watch them before looking back at Four. He stares down at his pile of food, barely touched.

"Four, if you want to go on the date..." I don't want to finish the sentence. Thankfully he darts his eyes toward mine, shaking his head.

"We need to talk."