Delusional Love

Chapter 7: The goodness within

October 27th 2019-

I've been thinking about this a lot recently and I think I finally figured out who outed me to my grandparents.

I'd assumed for a while but now, after that shit in the cafeteria. Everything he said. All the shit he does. I know.

It was DaKarie.

I talked to my abuela. I tried to tell her it was a lie, that it wasn't true but I don't think she believed me. I brought up Emily and how much they loved her. Said we should have dinner, all that.

When I asked how she found out, she told me one of my friends from school came by. A black dude. Told them I was a faggot, sneaking around with guys behind Emily's back. Behind their backs, sneaking em in at night or something.

The way she cried. Said she wouldn't tell anyone but that didn't make it okay. My abuelo wouldn't talk to me, they wouldn't even let me in the fucking house.

So, yeah. Been a great fucking week.

I'm pretty angry nowadays. Abandoned. Alone. Dying. Most of which is my fault. I get that.

But what if I'm right? What if DaKarie did..there wasn't a better possible explanation.

The boys were the only ones who knew. Kyle and Jaime would never fucking think about doing that. But Karie, he was impulsive and hotheaded and prideful.

He went out of his way to get back at me when he found out about Em. Jeopardized the boys, threw away everything just to try and hurt me. He beat me senseless any time things didn't go his way, if they weren't done exactly to his comfort and liking. He forced me to tell them how I was raped. When I had trusted him.

He called me to tell me he loved me. Begged me to forget about all our shit and come back. And I said no. And it killed me. But there was no choice. They couldn't have stayed. The way that I was..how I am. It was better for them.

I always tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Make excuses for everything he'd done, but this..I can't let him get away with it. I just can't.

-

"Max are you all right? You look tired. You feeling swore?"

"I'm fine, Em. Your right, just..just fucking tired. Don't wanna go to class." He slumped his shoulders in exhaustion as they made their way down the front stairs to the school entrance.

Emily hooked her arm around his. She made it seem like it was to be affectionate but he knew she was just trying to keep him balanced. She was always worrying about that stuff, kept trying to look out for him. He knew he took it for granted sometimes.

They passed a few girls who were whispering away about something. Max sighed, tuning the world out as he stared at the clouds above.

"That fight was ages ago, people for real need to get a life. Who cares if he's gay anyway, shouldn't we be focusing on actual shit that matters. Like getting a fucking education maybe?"

"Bi."

"Hmm?"

Max glanced over, realizing what he'd said. He gaped for words, trying for a smooth recovery.
"One of his friends in history kept getting questions and shit. He's..you know..plays both sides, I guess."

"Oh. Well, still. Acting gay makes you hilarious until you're actually gay, then people have something to say about it. I mean, isn't that.."

"Fucking weird?"