Chapter 34

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Third POV

"Well, well, well," the great goblin said with a satisfied grin. "Look who it is. Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain. Oh! But I'm forgetting, you don't have a mountain, and you're not a king, which makes you nobody, really. I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head. Just a head. Nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak. An old enemy of yours. A pale orc, astride a white warg."

"Azog the Defiler was destroyed," Thorin growled, glaring up at the goblin king's face. "He was slain in battle long ago."

"So, you think his defiling days are done, do you?" The great goblin said, a horrendous smile gracing his wart ridden face. He turned to one of his goblin minions and said, "Send word to the pale orc. Tell him I have found his prize."

~*~

Meanwhile in another part of the cavernous mountain, Bilbo was witnessing Gollum begin to drag away the goblin that had fallen farther into the mountain with him. Gollum was a miserable looking creature with big eyes, a wide and nearly toothless grin and the creature walked on all fours. While Gollum was clambering over a rock, something fell out of his pocket. It was a round, golden ring. It was simple, and not simple at all. The ring seemed to call to Bilbo, beg him to pick it up. This is just what Bilbo did before curiously following after the strange creature deeper into the cave.

~*~

The two small creatures asked each other riddles. If Bilbo lost, he would let himself be eaten, but if Gollum lost, then he would show Bilbo out of the caverns.

Bilbo went first, "30 white horses on a red hill. First, they champ, then they stamp, then they stand still."

Gollum thought for a bit before exclaiming, "Teetf? Teeth! Oh, yes, my precious! But we, we only have nine. Our turn! Voiceless, it cries. Wingless flutters. Toothless bites. Mouthless mutters."

"Just a minute," Bilbo said as he walked a bit away.

"Oh! Oh! We knows! We knows!" Gollum said. "Shut up!"

"Wind. It's wind, of course it is," Bilbo said, happy he had figured it out.

"Very clever, Hobbitses." Gollum growled out, beginning to advance on Bilbo. "Very clever."

Bilbo drew his sword, pointed it at Gollum, and began another riddle, "A-A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid."

Gollum began to mutter to himself. "Box. Box. The lid and a key."

"Well?" Bilbo asked.

"It's nasty." Gollum replied, crawling away continuing to mutter. "Box. Key."

"Do you give up?" Bilbo asked impatiently.

"Give us a chance, Precious! Give us a chance!" Gollum cried, he continued to mutter to himself for a while longer before he sprang up in excitement shouting, "Eggses! Eggses! Wet, crunchy little eggses. Yes. Grandmother taught us to suck them, yes!" Gollum performed something of a little jig. This would have been adorable, had he not only moments ago asked Bilbo if he could eat him. "We have one for you. All things it devours. Birds, beasts, trees, flowers. Gnaws iron, bites steel. Grinds hard stones to meal." Gollum had disappeared and Bilbo was spinning in circles looking for him. Gollum called out in a taunting, eerie voice, "Answer us."

"Give me a moment, please. I gave you a good long while." Bilbo called before beginning to mull things over aloud, "Birds, beasts. Beasts? Trees, flowers. I don't know this one."

"Is it tasty?" Gollum asked, in an eerie sing-song voice. "Is it scrumptious? Is it crunchable?" Suddenly Gollum was upon Bilbo and grabbed him by his neck. Bilbo pulled away and turned swiftly to point his sword at Gollum.

"Let me think," Bilbo said.

"It's stuck," Gollum's voice growled. "Bagginses is stuck." Gollum smiled a nine-toothed grin and tilted his head to the side watch Bilbo pace. "Time's up." Gollum said shaking his head as if he were disappointed. Then the creature prepared to pounce.

"Time." Bilbo whispered. "The answer is time." Gollum's face fell and then he growled. Bilbo cleared his throat before saying, "Actually wasn't that hard."

"Last question," Gollum said gripping a rock. "Last chance."

"Okay," Bilbo said breathing heavily.

"Ask us." Gollum said in an almost sing-song voice. "Ask us!"

"Yes. Yes. Alright!" Bilbo replied. "What have I got in my pocket?"

"That's no fair." Gollum complained, scrunching his bows in confusion. "It's no fair! It's against the rules! Now ask us another one."

"No. No, no, no. You said, 'Ask me a question.' That's a question." Bilbo replied before repeating the question. "What have I got in my pocket?"

"Three guesses, Precious. It must give us three." Gollum replied angrily.

"Three guesses. Very well, guess away." Bilbo agreed. The two had begun to circle each other.

"Handses!" Gollum guessed excitedly.

"Wrong. Guess again." Bilbo said, quickly putting his hands up in the air.

Gollum groaned and moaned and then began to think out loud. "Fishbones, goblins' teeth, wet shells, bat's wings..." The creature began smacking the rock and continued to moan. "Knife!" He shouted. "Oh, shut up!"

"Wrong again. Last guess," Bilbo informed him.

"String." Gollum said. "Or nothing."

"Two guesses at once," Bilbo said mocking him. "Wrong both times." Gollum fell over and began to cry and wail. "So," Bilbo continued. "Come on then. I won the game. You promised to show me the way out."

"Did we say so Precious?" Gollum asked himself. "Did we say so?" Gollum, who had been facing his reflection in the water, turned towards Bilbo, his dark with suspicion. "What has it got in its pocketses?"

"That's no concern of yours." Bilbo replied, pointing his sword at Gollum once more. "You lost."

"Lost? Lost? Lost?" Gollum repeated the word while advancing on Bilbo. His face fell when he reached into his pocket. "Where is it? Where is it?! No!" he shrieked. "Aah! Where is it?! No! No! Lost! Lost!" He threw bones and splashed water screaming and screeching, wailing and crying "My Precious is lost!"

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