The Marauders: Year Seven Part Two

To Obtain Peace

"Please don't make a big deal about this in front of Evans, she'll never let it go," James begged.

Sirius let out a stream of smoke and lowered the cigarette from his mouth, "You jumped out of a bloody window, you insane-o! Forget Evans - I'm never letting it go!"

"It wasn't that different from jumping off that bridge like we used to when we went camping," James answered.

"Uh yes it is," Sirius said, "It's entirely different! And far more badass." He was grinning ear to ear, "I fucking love that you did it, and I only regret not having been there to see it or to jump out it with you. Perhaps we could recreate it sometime? Commit it to film? I could take a photo with the Polly-roid."

"No," James laughed, "Having done it once is enough. I doubt rather I'll ever attempt a stunt like that again."

"Bummer," Sirius murmured, and he took a drag from his cigarette.

It was the middle of the night, and the two of them were sitting on the balcony at the top of Gryffindor tower, having snuck out from the dormitory after James had had a nightmare. Sirius was biding his time before asking about it, but he had woken up to the sound of James whimpering and pleading in his sleep. It was unsettling to Sirius, seeing the vulnerable side of James. Usually, this was reversed. Usually James was the one waiting for Sirius to come around to talking about the dreams and the worries about the future. James was the strong one, after all. Sirius knew that with his whole heart.

"So who do you reckon G is?" James asked.

"Greyback," Sirius said quickly. "He threatens to come on the full moon, so obviously it's him. He came on the full moon, as promised."

"I was thinking that too, but the text of it doesn't read like Greyback, it's so formal."

Sirius shrugged. "Greyback is rough around the edges now, but once upon a time he was respectable enough that my dearest Auntie Druella thought him worthy of marrying into the Black family. He's been taught his manners, he simply chooses not to employ them." Sirius grinned and his eyes sparkled as he exhaled more smoke, "Rather like me that way."

James laughed, "I can't for the life of me imagine Greyback with manners."

Sirius smiled sadly, "I can't imagine anyone in the Black family accepting him without them."

James reached over and pulled the pack of cigarettes out of Sirius's jacket pocket, and shook one out of the box. He lit it quietly and leaned back in the chairs they'd conjured, staring up at the starry sky overhead. He listened to Sirius's steady breathing beside him, stared at the silhouette of his boots propped up on the edge of the balcony, his body in the shape of a sloping V between the chair and the half-wall before them.

"D'you reckon we'll ever have peace, Sirius?" James asked suddenly.

Sirius considered this a moment. "Dunno."

"I just want peace." James's voice was steady, with a far-off, deep-in-thought quality to it. He drew a breath off the cigarette he'd just lit, and watched the smoke float away in his exhale. "I'd like to marry Evans and live in a nice house someplace and just ... be happy, you know?" he asked, glancing at Sirius. "I just want to be happy."

"I know what you mean, mate," Sirius answered. "Except for the marrying Evans bit, anyway."

"Perhaps we all ought to just... run away, the four of us, just go off someplace where Voldemort won't ever find us," James suggested.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, looking over at James. "Like where?"

James shrugged. He thought about it a moment, then said, "Costa Rica."

"That's supposed to be my go-to line," Sirius said, smirking.

James said, "Well, I'm borrowing it for the occasion. Besides, perhaps if we go someplace you'd like to go it'll be easier to convince you to run away with me." He grinned.

Sirius's laugh was a short, barking sound. "As if it would take much convincing to get me to run away with you." His eyes sparkled. "You're the only bloody person that could talk me into such an outrageous move."

"Remus could."

"Only if it included you in the plan," Sirius answered. He smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I bloody love Remus with every cell of my body. I'd do anything for Remus, anything except one thing." His eyes met James's and the seriousness in them was so solemn that it sent a shiver down James's spine. "I would never, ever, ever betray you. Even if Remus asked me to. No matter what. I'd rather die."

James looked away. The intensity of the stare was just too much for him. He stood up and leaned against the balcony, staring down over the grounds below, letting the embers of his cigarette shudder down onto the stone railing and smolder there, a tiny fire like the anger that was burning inside of him.

For a moment, he could picture it - himself and Lily in a beautiful little casa on the water, with big pink flowers and waving palm leaves in the front garden. He could picture little black haired girls and red haired boys with brilliantly green eyes running through a backyard and collecting fireflies. He could smell the oranges and the salt on the air and see Sirius and Remus coming down the lane for dinner at their house, a great big family gathering at long tables with Charlus and Dora there, too, all happy and laughing under the starlit skies... Free from whatever Mopsus had orchestrated, free from Voldemort's attacks and the fear of what would happen tomorrow... Free and at peace, living normal lives like normal people... and being just... happy.

"He could find us in Costa Rica, James," Sirius said, "We already know that. We've already seen it."

James closed his eyes, the image bursting in his mind, a glass mirage shot through by a silver bullet of truth that flew through his desires and into his heart. He put out the cigarette. The taste of it was burnt and acidic in his mouth and he couldn't stand it. It didn't soothe him like it did Sirius.

"We gotta kill him if we want any peace at all," Sirius muttered.

"Ironic," James said.

"What is?" Sirius asked, his own cigarette having spent itself and he flicked it down to the corner of the balcony carelessly.

James stared at the black shadow of the Forbidden Forest. "That we have to wage war to obtain peace."