27- Panic Attacks

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August 9th, 2012

“Are you sure that you can get home on your own?” I ask Grace skeptically as we’re walking down the sidewalk towards her house. She was completely drunk out of her mind so I wanted to walk her all the way home but she insisted that she would be fine.

“Yeah. Totally,” She slurs, leaning heavily into Henry’s side because it’s so hard for her to walk on her own by now. Henry wasn’t Grace’s boyfriend but he sure as hell wanted to be. They’d made out a few times previously to this night and they hang out a lot but she doesn’t want to be ‘tied down’ and I feel bad for Henry because he’s really nice but he should just forget Grace as a girlfriend now because she’s definitely not the girlfriend type of girl.

“Grace, you can’t even walk,” I say.

“It’s okay, Ana, I’ll take her home,” Henry assures me, wrapping his arm around her waist to hold her up. He pulls something out of his pocket and when I can see that it’s a pack of cigarettes. He takes one out for himself and then holds the box out towards me. “Do you want one?”

I open my mouth to say no but then I remember that Henry is friends with Trevor, who I’m still talking to, and for some reason, I think that he’ll think that I’m cool if he hears that I can smoke a cigarette. “Sure. Thanks,” I tell him as I take one of the white sticks out of the box and wait for him to light his own before setting the end of mine on fire too.

“I want one,” Grace slurs.

“No, Grace. Just no,” I say quickly, subtly coughing on my first drag but after that, I think I get the hang of it. It’s painful and disgusting but I pretend that I’ve been doing this for years, with the paper stick between my lips and holding it between my fingers like I’ve seen in the movies. I just have to play it cool.

“Anyway, I can get Grace home,” Henry assures me again, back on the subject of getting Grace home in one piece.

“Sure. Just make sure her parents don’t see you. They’d absolutely kill her if they caught her like this,” I tell him, thankful that I didn’t drink at all while I was at the party tonight because we’d be so doomed. Especially since I had to sneak out of the house to get to the party in the first place and I have to be home at midnight, before my parents get home. Penn is supposed to be watching me to make sure that I don’t leave, which is crap since he’s only three years older than me so he can’t legally be my babysitter, I don’t think, but I snuck past him easily because he was watching TV and I’m a pro at sneaking out.

“It’s almost 12:30, I’m sure they’ll be asleep by now,” Is what Grace tries to say but it comes out as one big slurred mess.

“Did she just say that it’s almost 12:30?” I wonder incredulously, pulling my phone out of my little purse. I was wearing a short little dress and I didn’t have any room to put my phone so I had to bring this purse with me to the party and luckily, I didn’t lose it in the crowd. Turning on the screen, I see that she’s right. It’s 12:20 and I’m so doomed. “Crap. I’m so fucked.”

“You go on home, I’ll take care of her,” Henry assures me, noticing my sudden panic. I was planning on helping Grace home and then going around the block to where my house is but now, I know that I’ll have to cut through the park that separates our houses. I don’t like walking through that park at night though, especially by myself, but I’m already twenty minutes late so I really have no choice. I see the entrance to the park up ahead so I warn Henry again to make sure that they don’t get caught getting into the house and then say goodbye to Grace, who is barely even conscious anymore. I’m not worried that Henry will try to take advantage of her like that because he is a good guy and I guess I’m kind of naïve when it comes to things like that.

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