Light Upon Light

#68 Strange Familiarities

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Hello my lovely people.
I'll leave my thoughts at the end of the chapter. For now, enjoy this much delayed update!

***

The night before my engagement I couldn’t fall asleep. Which made me wonder, why is it that whenever something important is about to happen, the first thing that flies of the window is sleep? The night before I got sent here when I was sixteen, the night before my board results came, the night before first day of college, the night before graduation; this list can go on and on. Is it just me?

I was sitting there by the window seat and watching the night sky. The stars were hiding behind the rainclouds, the rain had ceased only a few moments ago. I was wondering if it would rain on my function tomorrow and that is when I realized that I’m officially going to be in a grey zone. I won’t be married, but I’m not single anymore in the sense that it is understood. I won’t be taken yet, and I won’t be available either. So... Single but unavailable?

Wow.

Even if everyone teased me about it day in and out, even if the very mention of the guy made me blush (that thing needs to be brought under control), I still had a hard time believing sometimes that it is Zaid Hashim that I will be engaged to. How is that even real?

Subhan Allah, the way the Qadr of Allah works... It really is beyond human beings. To think all those years back I was vying for his attention and that too in the wrong fashion, and then Allah changes everything for me. And soon I’ll get to call him mine, with His blessings.

Night turned to day, the heavens shifted hues and soon it was bright blue and sunny after days of doom and gloom. I love the rainy season, but something about it is also a bit gloomy. It has a kind of lethargy to it, I didn’t want to feel like getting cosy in my bed on the day of my engagement!

While Alhamdulillah a lot has changed about me over the years, the one thing that still remains the same is my love for dressing up. And this is one occasion that definitely calls for it... The old Junaina probably would have gone a little bit more all out. I made myself a simple long flowy kurta, pale yellow in colour with some embroidery. I matched it with a lovely burgundy shawl I already had, added the pair of silver jhumkis that Dadi had gifted me years back. I mean I had to wear it, I wonder if he remembers...

Obviously my family wouldn’t let me get dressed up alone and because Di didn’t want to miss out on all the fun, I was downstairs in Iqra Bhabhi’s room. Do I still call her Iqra Bhabhi after getting married? Hold your horses Juni... It’s just the engagement.

“I think it’ll be wonderful to add a large yellow flower garland instead of Chachi's pearls, what do you think Juni?” Bhabhi asked as she tucked away stray strands of my hair.

“Yeah sure,” I mumbled as I clasped a silver bracelet on my right hand.

I was startled by the burst of giggles that came from Di and Bhabhi. And Kashaf joined in because she found it funny when they were cackling like hyenas. Seriously, what was it with these ladies?

“I don’t know what they taught you in your course, but a yellow garland is not a fashion statement my brother wants to see,” Bhabhi said while trying to contain her laughter... Very unsuccessfully might I add.

“Haha very funny!” I said drily.

My cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. Do they have medication for stopping this? I’ve got to ask Mom.

“It is! Who would have thought that sherni would become meek as a mouse when she’s getting engaged!” Di pointed out and there was more laughter.

Sigh.

What was I thinking? I should have said no to the proposal considering Zaid Hashim came with certain really close extra attachments. I was in a way glad though. I’m certain my cousins were giving Zaid an equivalent treatment from Baithun Noor. Shoaib Bhai and Samar had gone over to get the 'dulha' ready.

I couldn’t stop the evil smirk that popped up.

“Now I’m scared for my brother... She’s already plotting against him, look at that devious face,” Bhabhi gestured at the mirror.

“You should be. The guys are probably killing him from there. Too bad Samir didn’t go,” I noted with a nod.

After a second of silence there was more laughter. Only this time it wasn’t at my expense. And we were too busy cracking up to notice that our mothers had come in to the room.

“These girls... You’d think the married ones would act more dignified,” Sumi Phuppi said shaking her head with a smile.

“Like you I suppose?” Chachi said and gave my Mom a low five. Poor Phuppi.

“Are you all ready? The groom’s side will be here any minute,” Mom said stepping up to me. She was dressed in an elegant grey suit.

“So formal Sunaida... They’re just our neighbors! And one is a permanent fixture here,” Chachi said giving Bhabhi a side hug.

“You look beautiful, Barak Allahu Feeki” Mom said kissing my forehead.

“Look who’s talking. You look more like my sister than my mother!” I said as I hugged her.

There was a knock on the room and then Dad came in with Dadi. I may be wrong but it seemed like for a second there both of them teared up. The laughter in the room went down as if someone had lowered the volume on the radio and settled into smiles on all the faces. Mother and son walked over to me and engulfed me in a bear hug.

Dadi pulled back and held my face in her hands and said, “I am so happy for you my child. Barak Allahu Feeki, may Allah protect you from all evil eyes.” 

Following traditional engagement rules (even though this was anything but one) I was to stay in the room with Di and Asiya until I was called for. That wait seemed like it took forever as well. For once though Di wasn’t teasing me and that was a relief. When I was called for... Well let’s just say that I have never ever felt as nervous as I did then. I was not someone who was uncomfortable being the centre of attention in a room. But then as Haseena Aunty and Sidra and the ladies in my family were all looking at me with those beaming faces, all I wanted to do was hide. And we didn’t even get to the part where I would get to see Zaid.

It was funny, all of a sudden I was cautious around these people. They’ve seen me for who I am, they know me well and I need not have worried about making an impression at all. But every time I took a sip of tea (bleh) I clenched the cup tight, afraid that it might slip. Even though the samosas looked delectable, I didn’t eat a single one. Iqra Bhabhi served me a piece of her marble cake and I declined. And she stared at me. I tried not to squirm.

“Chachi, when did Juni start dieting?” she asked.

It was no longer red as tomatoes. I was like a beetroot at that point.

All I wanted to do was bury my face in the cushions as everyone laughed at me.

“Stop it Iqra. You’ve probably been teasing her day and night and making her uncomfortable” Haseena Aunty said.

Did I mention that my future Mum in law is the best? Barak Allahu Feeha.

“Hayee Ammi... Favouring her already!”

By the time Zaid came to the courtyard with Samir and Shoaib bhai and the other boys, I had a whole jungle of animals running a marathon in my tummy. The tassels on my shawl are probably going to come off at this point. Bhabhi stopped me halfway and pulled them out of my hands.

“Relax Juni, it’s just us. Nothing fancy,”

“Like my engagement?”

“Just a label... How many times our families have gathered like this... Just think of it like that,” She said with a wink.

“Am I being uncharacteristically shy?"

“Nah... You’re just acting like we all did at our engagements. Remember I was in your position a few years back too. Your family was one I was comfortable around and that day it did feel different. It’s just the whole new chapter in life thing... You’ll get used to it,” Bhabhi said with a soft smile.

We were having a nice moment, just us sisters and Bhai had to butt in.

“Iqra you see Sherni around the house all the time. The poor guy has been waiting to see her since he set foot in here today!” he pointed towards Zaid.

“And he can see her all he wants once they get married, right brother darling?” Iqra Bhabhi said ruffling Zaid's hair. He swatted her hand away and glared at her.

I wanted to laugh at him. But everyone else was doing it anyway, I suppose for once I could cut him some slack. Who was I kidding, I may not have laughed but I definitely couldn’t stop the smirk.

“Assalamu alaikum Juni,” Zaid said clearing his throat and shush went everyone else.

“Wa alaikumasalaam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu.”

“Look at them, so meek and formal. How cute!” Bhabhi said cupping her face with both hands.

“What’s with the 'Juni' and all huh? It’s only your engagement ... Wait till the Nikah is over to get all informal Mr Hashim,” Samir said crossing his arms, eyebrows pulling up close in a stern look. Only he also failed miserably to control his mirth as Samar gave him a high five.

Well the peace lasted for ten seconds at least.

“Haan haan, look who’s talking. One mention of Najwa is all it takes to get you eavesdropping,” I rolled my eyes.

“Please bring back the shy kitten Sherni sahiba. This is your engagement not mine!” Brother dearest said pinching my nose.

It was my turn to be embarrassed by a sibling and his turn to enjoy the fun at my expense. Balances settled I suppose.

“But Zaid, what could you possibly have seen in this lady right here. You do know why we call her sherni right?” Samar asked as he moved a safe distance away. Wise choice on his part.

“Well that’s for me to know and none of you to find out,” the mister said and shot me a quick smile before directing a smug smirk at the others.

I would be lying if I said I didn’t squeal internally like a super excited child.

All the jitters from earlier were replaced by swooning within and I enjoyed my engagement so much. The teasing, the taunting, the secret little gestures, the feeling of euphoria that was diffused in the house, settling on all of us like drops of dew on blades of grass.

Alhamdulillah.

***
I hope that was worth the wait. I've been typing it up bit by bit, even if it's sometimes only a line a day. You might find a lot of errors. I just wanted to get it out ASAP.

Tbh... Juni's story has come to an end in my head. So it is pretty hard to write a decent chapter. As I was telling my sister the other day, I am tempted to write "And they lived happily, sadly, joyfully, angrily, excitedly, beautifully ever after."

I don't think I want to write any more chapters. So the next will be the epilogue.

And then in sha Allah I hope to introduce all of you to the others speaking in my head.

Till then,

Much love,

fmf