it hurts until it doesn't

the room

written: june 2, 2020 (day 329)

it's as simple as this:
if there were ever a situation
where his life were on the line,
i wouldn't raise a finger to help him,
i wouldn't care,
because he already ruined mine.

there's a room that exists
in the back of my mind
in which only he and i reside.
the room's on fire
and i choke on the smoke
and one of us has died.

at first, it's me;
he killed me
when he delivered my ruination.
but then, it's him:
i killed him
and delivered him to his eternal damnation.

it's as simple as this:
i will never forgive him for what he did
and his continuation to haunt me.
but he's dead in my mind
and the only time i ever see him
is in the darkest of my dreams.

-the room is on fire and i was the one who set it ablaze