Taming the Street Racer ✔️

16 | fight for me

I storm through the crowd, tuning out the gossip and whispers around me. My mind is against me again, replaying what I just saw and over-analyzing everything. He feels permanently ingrained in my life and my mind; I can't get away from him no matter how hard I try.

My feet carry me upstairs, anywhere but near Grayson. I burst into the first unlocked bedroom and my jaw drops at the sight in front of me. Peyton, sitting on the bed, making out with a girl I'd never seen before. A girl wearing that flag football windbreaker I found on the floor of Peyton's room a few days ago.

I'm not in the right headspace to deal with it right now and turn around right as Peyton realizes I'm there. She calls out for me, probably worried about what I think, but Peyton and her personal life are the least of my worries right now.

I can't get the vision of Grayson standing over Trevor's broken body out of my mind. Even more so, I can't get the look on Grayson's face out of my mind - that heartbreaking look of pain and fear. Fear of what?

I walk outside, still in only a pair of jeans and my hot pink bralette, and ignore the stares of those gathered outside. I don't know where Grayson is and I don't see his recognizable Audi parked anywhere. I don't know why I'm even looking.

Violet is nowhere to be found, Peyton is a bit preoccupied, Trevor is on the verge of dying somewhere, and I suddenly feel overwhelmed by the loud music blasting from the house and the blazing street lamps.

I'm incapable of driving at the moment, but I spot a bike lying on its side in the grass. Looking around, making sure no one is bearing witness, I scoop the bike up and hop on without thinking too hard about the thievery I'm committing. It takes me a few seconds to balance myself but once I do, I start moving my legs as fast as possible down the deserted neighborhood road.

This situation, me running into the darkness and away from reality, is all too familiar. That's me, the girl who can't seem to face her problems and always flees the scene. I'm weak. I'm pathetic. And I'm running away again, where no one can hurt me.

I breathe in the cool, dry air, and keep pedaling.

♔

grayson's point of view

•  •  •

Every inch of my body pulses with pain. I know my face is splattered with blood, the rough skin of my knuckles bruised and red, but none of it even registers. Under the night sky, I lie on my back, feeling the cool grass beneath me and trying to scrub River from my mind.

It isn't working. And it hasn't worked for the past three days, since I saw her leaving me with a broken heart. I've been killing myself lately, the thought of her feeling like tide that is always rising in my mind.

The last words I said to her. All the words I was too afraid to say to her. It has all been eating me from the inside out, tearing me down. And I've been having the strangest thoughts.

I've been wishing that I'd just told her the truth. Instead, I was a coward and took the easy way out, protecting myself by hurting her.

Screw my life. Screw my feelings. I'd give everything up to just turn back time and undo that day in my house.

Tonight, I got the chance to undo the damage, to show River the man that I can be, the one she deserves. Violet called me from River's phone and, I swear, seeing River's name on my screen lit my world on fire. I dropped Gracie off at my aunt's and sped to where River was, swearing to myself that I wouldn't fuck it up this time.