Thicker than Water (Marauders Era)

3 November, 1978 - Life Advice

In a fashion that Lavinia supposed was utterly predictable of her, she didn't talk to Sirius that day, in part because she was still annoyed with him and in part because it felt selfish to take anything away from the joy of Lily and James's announcement. And Sirius of all people was particularly pleased for his friends. Lavinia supposed he'd been rooting for them for years now and was overjoyed that his best friend was happy.

Lavinia didn't talk to him the next day either, because by then it felt weird and awkward, especially since she'd had to bring up the meeting issue again. She knew they hadn't meant to be rude. The reality was that she was sensitive about the Order, something she knew she needed to work on and they hadn't wanted to disrupt her day. Which was misguided, obviously, but they had done it thinking they could keep her from hurting or worrying.

The next day she told herself she didn't have a good moment because she wanted the conversation to be perfect. The next thing she knew October was wrapping up and she still hadn't said a word. She'd thought about it, multiple times, but the words always got stuck, the moment was never right and the fear always got in the way.

She knew she was being silly, knew she was holding onto things that were better let go, but she didn't know how to release them. She didn't know how to not feel her heart drop out of her chest any time her sleeve so much as slipped. She didn't know how to not jump at loud noises and run from the stress. She didn't know how to make herself be better for him. She didn't know how to be brave.

In the meantime, however, Lavinia became closer with Miriam Strout. Not really in a friends kind of way because if Lavinia was honest she didn't know if she would ever be able to be true friends with someone like Strout because she was just... a lot. And frankly, Lavinia didn't always have the energy to handle her. But they ate lunch together and often left work together and it was nice to have just a casual acquaintance at the hospital.

Also at work, Lavinia met the other healers in her ward and discovered that both were almost exactly as Robert Hayes had described them for all that he hadn't used many words or gone into great detail.

Lavinia's first thought upon meeting Bertie Campbell was that no one had ever suited their name as much as Bertie - who insisted on being called by his first name, just like Mr. Hayes - suited his. Lavinia still couldn't bring herself to think of Mr. Hayes as Robert, but Bertie simply seemed like the right thing to call her older coworker.

He was a wizened old man whose back was a bit hunched and whose hair had been reduced to white wisps surrounding a shiny bald patch on the top of his head. He had shaken Lavinia's hand with an enthusiasm that belied his advanced age and had proceeded to tell her how lovely it was to see younger faces around here. Lavinia rather thought that he and Strout would get along swimmingly.

Elias Mitchell also fit his description almost painfully well. Lavinia saw him only a few times, usually at the very beginning or end of her shift because apparently he often volunteered for the night shift. Mitchell couldn't have been much more than four or five years older than Lavinia and he gave off the air of someone who didn't really want to be talked to. When Mr. Hayes had introduced them, the young man had stuck out his hand, shook her's once and moved on with his life without so much as a word of welcome. Lavinia had done her best not to be offended and had been aided in this endeavor by his complete lack of greeting for his boss as well. Mr. Hayes didn't seem remotely bothered by it, so Lavinia decided not to read into the encounter.

Training in the ward was fascinating to Lavinia, and not least because it was thrilling to her to be finally actually doing something with her life. Mr. Hayes insisted on always getting her input, on making sure she understood why certain treatments might work and others wouldn't. And he seemed to genuinely value her input.