Episode 10: mOThEr kNOwS bEsT

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What did I say! More chapters!!!!

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I got woken up for a family meeting. I knew what it was going to be about. Here we were in the living room listening to my father scold me.

"Lora, we will not tolerate this behavior in this household," My father said. There it was. Behind the broken facade of the happy cheerful family man. The man I was raised by.

His stoic features molded themselves into the angry disappointed face I had always known. It was all a sham, an illusion only held up when necessary. And when we left the house, it made an appearance every time we returned.

"You will apologize to you mother, right now," He boomed. Was this the same man smiling at me? Asking me about my new job? "Apologize for what exactly?" I asked.

His face scrunched up. "What has gotten into you?" He said, voice laced with venom. My mother sitting on the couch smug and proud. Her perfectly manicured hands crossing her chest. "See! This is what I was talking about Robert! She-She's-this isn't the daughter I raised," My mother spoke.

My brother sat on the other seat. Quiet, not saying anything. Just watching it all unfold. After we ate, we went our separate ways. I didn't know what it was, or what he was trying to do but it definitely wasn't anything to reconcile. He sat there, saying nothing while parents unloaded on me.

"Lora, you owe everyone in this household an apology for leaving the dinner table like a whiny brat throwing a tantrum. Your in my house so you will show respect or there will be consequences," He said. "Why is it so hard for you to admit you did wrong?" I asked leaning over to make eye contact with me mother. "Why can't you admit you hurt me?" I said.

"Is that a disrespectful thing to say dad? That you and everyone in this house hurt me," I said. "I put a roof over your head, food on the table, and put your ungrateful selfish ass through college," My dad said. I scoffed. "Really? That's the road you wanna take? When I come to you about a real emotional problem, that's your defense?" I said.

My father almost did a double take. It was like he couldn't believe it was me talking. "Fine whatever, I'm sorry that you chose to have a child. I'm sorry that you see the responsibility you signed up for as burden. As if I chose to exist," I said.

A slap fell across my face. It stung the whole right side of my face leaving it numb. "Dad!" My brother yelled. "Stay out of this Jordan," My father said.

The pit of my stomach fell into itself. I feared men, I feared them so much, this is why. I stood up shaking on my two feet. "Hitting me won't change the fact that you ruined me, that you all fucking ruined me," I said. This time I ended up on the floor after my dad back handed my cheek again. I tasted blood as I struggled to hold myself up.

"You will obey me under my roof!" My father screamed. I looked up at him, showing them my face behind my hair. They all stopped to see the blood dripping from my mouth.

My brother stood up hurriedly. The memories of his awful rough housing when we were kids played in my head. "Go ahead dad, beat me into submission. Beat me into a corner so I never utter another word and I can be the silent daughter you never have to give a shit about," I said.

He stepped back in horror. My mothers face fell as she clutched her non existent pearls. My brother stared at me like I was a freak. There was no getting to these people.

I spit onto the carpet and wiped my mouth on my forearm. "Don't ever call me back here again," I said.

-

I was in the bathroom rinsing my mouth. My face was swollen, lip busted, eye bruised. I wanted to cry. Not because of my family, I had let go of them a long time ago. But because Marcus was seeing me in two days and I looked like this.

I didn't want him to know what happened, I didn't want anyone to know. I didn't want to make this other people's problem. I was a survivor and I could survive this.

I pulled it together. I needed to pack my shit and leave immediately. Ice my face once I got to New York. I opened the door and Jordan was standing on the other-side. He stared at my messed up face.

"What do you want?" I asked. He stayed quiet following the different ways my face had been damaged. "You know Jordan," I started. "I hate them, I really do but I think I hate you more. They are terrible parents, and I hate them for what they did to me but I absolutely loathe them for what they did to you. I hate the person you are," I said. "I may be fucked up beyond repair but at least I know it. At least I can recognize what the damage did. Understand my short comings, unfortunately for you you'll never see it that way. Your worse than that, you always will be. That evilness inside you that you fail to recognize as evil, that horrible thing that exists inside you is an extension of who are, of who they made you to be. Your a terrible human being, you lack basic levels of empathy, you cruise through life not giving a shit about anyone or anything, and you enjoy the feeling of it. That enjoyment you carry, even when those around you are suffering. Its not something to be proud of. Its called being a sociopath," I said. Then it clicked in my head.

"The difference between you and the sociopaths over there is that you know I'm right. You know I'm exactly right. I was racking my brain to understand last night. Us, together eating in silence instead of talking or trying to fix anything. And it just clicked. You know I'm right, you knew I was right last night and you know I'm right, right now. You yourself don't even understand why you stayed with me last night. It was probably the first time you ever felt any sort of sorrow for any living thing. You didn't know what to say because you never thought you'd have too," I said.

"You, Jordan Bailey are an awful horrible person and I thank God I didn't turn out the way you did. I only hope you get a therapist and fix all the terrible things wrong with you and pray you never have any children of your own," I finished pushing passed him.

Even through this weekend had been the absolute worst. I was glad I was cutting them all off for real and I did so while unloading everything I had always wanted to say.

I packed my shit and called an Uber. I was finally rid of my stupid family.

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