Being thrown away in the garbage in a dark alleyway in London when she was only a baby, she should have died that day... But she didn't.. instead, a man saved her. He brought her in and saved her, fed her, bathed her, raised her and more importantly...
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The rest of yesterday was a blur. I didn't come out for dinner and no one came to get me. so that only adds to three possibilities.
1.) They hate me
2.) They don't care about me.
3.) They now view me as filth and trouble. Because they caught me smoking.
To be honest all three of them are true and that's probably what they think. But who am I to give a shit. I am used to be people judging me. I am used to people viewing me like dirt and trouble. I am used to it. The only person who didn't judge me was Ryan. He never saw me for who I grew up with. For how I dress, for how I look, for what I do. The only thing he actually cared about was who I was. He only ever tried to get to know me.
Sleep last night was quite impossible. The anxiety of what I feel at night has only increased and the pain in my shoulder is now burning and soaring in pain. I have watched the sunrise. Watching the sun in its orange pink and yellow glory always calms me. Dad on a Sunday would wake me up before it rises so we could watch it together. He said it was because it was sun-day and that we should enjoy the sun. I never complained I loved spending time with dad. He would always make earl grey tea and cheese sandwiches. We talked about everything and anything.
No bond was greater than the bond me and dad shared. I shared all my secrets and he did the same. We were best friends. today is going to be terrible. I don't even know if everyone is still going to London with me anymore. They probably hate me and can't stand me. more so than they already did. My door opens and in walks Louis. "Dad wants you to come down and have breakfast". I roll my eyes and nod. "Can't you knock"? He storms to me and snatches my wrist squeezing it tightly. His whole hand wrapped around the bruise. The bruise he left. "Let me go". I grit. He smirks then leans over so he is eye level.
"You really are just trouble and a burden. What you said last night hurt dad and now we all hate you". His grip around my wrist tightened. "I never wanted a sister and I will never want one. You are nothing to me! you are completely and utterly nothing. no one cares about you! No. one. People just simply pity you". The grip he has is deathly strong and the whimper that left my mouth was unavoidable. Though he didn't care. The pain on my wrist and shoulder was unimaginable but the pain in my heart was worse. "If you ever hurt my dad again with selfish and attention-seeking act again. I will make your life a living hell". All his words echoed in my head repeatedly. I felt myself breaking because of the amount of pain I felt. He let go roughly causing me to fall onto the floor." Get downstairs now! Also here is your suitcase bitch". He grabs the hard-shell suitcase and throws it to the ground next to me. I flinch but he only looks at me with complete hatred and no remorse.
Once he leaves I curl myself into a ball and find tears falling out of my eyes. Emotionlessly I feel nothing.. all I feel is the broken feeling returning swallowing up my broken heart. I wrap my arms around myself for some comfort. For something ease the heartbreak and rejection. I need to stop myself from caring so much. I hate that I care so much about what they think. They are people who hadn't been there. They are people who left me alone in this world. They are people who made me who I am. I need to get my act together. I have never cared or even cried because of what someone thinks or says to me before at home. So why should I now?
