Chapter 13

2.8K 343 280
                                    

Now that I'd experienced how the average human male acted online, I tried to forgive my grandparents for some of their insane efforts to protect me from the modern world. In some ways, they were right.

Some men did act like pigs.

I'd never dreamed that so many guys would troll the Web for people to screw. Until the Internet revealed them all.

Invariably within five minutes of logging onto AOL via my noisy dial-up connection, some idiot would try to chat me up without knowing a damn thing about me. I didn't even know how they got my username. Until it occurred to me that I'd used the same username on LiveDiary as I had on AOL.

Duh, rookie mistake.

This new idiot didn't even have the common courtesy to say hello.

Hot4UNow: a/s/l?
CelibateForLife: no.
Hot4UNow: what you mean no
Hot4UNow: saw your blog
Hot4UNow: why you ignore me babe
CelibateForLife: blocked

Almost every stranger who had ever sent me an instant message began with that annoying preface. A/S/L was an online bangability filter: age, sex, and location.

1. Am I allowed to bang them?

2. Are they the right gender for me?

3. Do I have access to them?

No 'hello', no 'how are you', none of the typical trivial niceties. No need for cheesy pick-up lines. Just a/s/l.

It came across as crass to me, and I wouldn't be caught dead saying that to anyone. At any time. Much less to a freaking stranger as a greeting. Yet another thing I didn't understand about the human condition...

Never mind. I couldn't change some random disembodied voice in the void.

Instead, I focused on learning more about this asexuality business now that I'd finally aced my Christian Ethics project. After dropping my unnecessary Biology II class, I set aside a bit more free time for myself.

Hearing the term asexual from two different commenters on my blog had clued me into the fact that it might not have been some random term Eric had used back in school.

Perhaps asexuality was a real thing.

So I used a new search engine called Google Beta to find some more information on the subject. Needless to say, my results didn't prove very fruitful. Even though I didn't know much, I could only imagine those asexual commenters would find some of them downright insulting and ignorant.

Amoebas and Asexual Reproduction

Amoebas reproduce via asexual reproduction, a process by which...

Category: Science > biology > asexual reproduction

Humans and asexuality?

No, humans must engage in sexual intercourse to reproduce...

Category: Science > biology > human anatomy

Cure for Asexuality

I dont wanna half sex. Is there a cur?...that drinking eight ounces of cranberry juice every day may stimulate...

Category: advice column > sexuality

Do Asexuals Really Exist?

Asexuals are fake, man. They just closet...Be gay and proud, dude! Come out when you're ready, but don't make up some weird-ass...

Mask of CelibacyWhere stories live. Discover now