A Dance With The Devil (GirlXGirl)

Chapter 16

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This chapter may contain sensitive/dark topics.
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Reagan
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I was driving towards the city centre, heading to the studio. It was silent in the car, no music played, no noises from the outside world could reach me. I was drifting off into my own thoughts, they were laying heavily on my heart lately and I could do nothing against them. I swallowed, talking about my brother the day before brought me close to a small and panicked breakdown.

I screamed, it felt as if my lungs were filled with water, no sound came out of my mouth even though I knew I was screaming and thrashing around. A silent cry for help in the darkness which surrounded me and swallowed my presence in an empty void.

I focused towards the road again, not wanting to cause a car accident and yet I felt as if I couldn't quite concentrate. Driving towards the next best parking lot area, I turned my car of, thinking to myself quietly, memories where overcoming me like crashing waves.

"I can't do this any longer, Eska." I cried, I was in so much pain, unbearable and unstoppable because it not only was physically. My brother looked at me, his metallic blue eyes piercing me with a teary shine in them.

My hands were shaking, I was ready to let go of the pain, the pain my body had to carry for the past fourteen years.
I looked down, my hands were clinging onto a large knife, the tip was dangerously pointing towards my stomach.
Then, yelling...

I opened my eyes slowly, why was I remembering those moments? They were the past, unspoken and untold. I looked through the windows of my car.

"How much I've changed. I've become someone, despite the fact that some people always thought otherwise." I said to myself, being able to feel amused.

"You put disgrace upon our family, bastard. I can't do anything against your existence anymore, Reagan Elizabeth Anastasia Chase, but I for sure can make your existence a fun event for me." My uncle probably thought that I was asleep, but my eight years old brain didn't manage to get out any word. It probably was better like that.

There was a baby crying in the huge room across from mine. Soon after my door fell shut and I could hear the steps of some of my family's maids. My nine month old baby brother, half brother at least.

Even though he didn't have to fluently speak three different languages at that moment, unlike me.
Even if he didn't play the piano and violin and harp yet, unlike me.
Even if he couldn't speak as nine months old, he was the most loved person in the whole household, only because of one little thing.

He didn't kill his own mother at birth, unlike me.

Thunder could be heard above my head. I was silently letting some tears roll down my cheeks. I was a mentally unstable mess, I've always been. I was nothing but a fainting picture in a glorious family tree. My name won't even be mentioned. Just the girl who killed her mother.

"Just a girl, a girl with uncountable scars, uncounted years of abuse and suicidal thoughts and somehow I manage to stand here."

My thoughts were trailing back to Sam. I was developing feelings towards her like I never did before. Her small, perfect smile, her ice eyes which seemed to melt when I drowned in them. Her perfection...