Facing the reality

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"Sorry it's a little bit a mess here." Said May when she gave tea to me. Her house was full with unopened boxes. For coming to Birmingham wasn't that a little bit so much? But she is a rich woman. That is normal at least for rich people.

She took a sit in front of me. "Are you okay Elsa?" She asked.

"Yeah so I guess." I didn't know what I felt how could I explain her my feelings? I felt her eyes still looking at me. A bit disturbed because she was reading me.

"You know I'm not only a horse trainer also a listener."

I shrugged like it was not imported but it was eating me deep inside. "Like I said it's a quick reaction." I sipped from the tea but she still looked like "girl do you really wait that I gonna believe this?" I gave up at this look. "I just found out that my brother got married and after 3 days he lost his wife. And the best thing is my whole family is silence about it."

"You feel the hopeless one in the family. The one that isn't needed right?"

I opened my eyes wide. I already knew this truth but by hearding from a stranger hurted much more. I nodded. "This is such an important thing... They didn't write anything about it. I have found it out from Charlie, Grace's son that I have been told it was Lizzie's son."

An akward silence broke into the house. That silence like in the trein came back. That secretly silence. It says more than we speak. A thing that May wanted to tell but couldn't tell. A thing that will break the magic. It had such a disturbing feeling. Till May started to talk again.

"If Tommy don't tell something it means he knows what he does. Maybe he didn't want you to be upset. I'm sure he will tell you at a right time." May said to comfort me.

But this didn't comforted me. That "at a right time" essayings was never right. As a professional watcher of watching shows I knew what this meant. It was a thing that they didn't want to tell me and I found it out. Now what should I do? Waiting till they were ready to tell me or saying that I already know it? Off that was harder than math.

I took my last sip of my tea. "I think I should go now. Thank you for your tea." And stood up.

"Any time. You can talk with me always Elsa."

I nodded thankfully. Before she stood up i stopped her. "I know the way please sit." I said and went myself to the door. I really hated to let stand people up just for opening the door. I don't know it was kinda weird to me.

When I was almost by the door I saw a picture of Tommy and May together. Tommy was like always, looking boringful into the camera. If the picture could speak it would say "please can i go home now?" My brother was always a bit cameraphobic. Shiny things scared him always. Next him there was a wondering May. Her eyes were locked on Tommy. This was not a normal look it was like "people in tv shows looking in love to each other" look. You could easily see how adorable she watched him. Wait is she in love with him? Or was Tommy the horse she was talking about in the train? Uh please why is everything a mystery to me.

Anyway I won't break my head over this. Still didn't decided what I should do. Acting like nothing was happened was maybe a good choise but we were talking about me. Do you think I could tolerate everyone while they speak lies into my face? The thought alone was horrible to me.

It was so horrible that I reached home in miles without being tired. My chance was that nobody was in home. I didn't know how I looked out and I didn't want to explain it. I walked into the living room than I heard a horrible violin voice. So horrible that I couldn't stand and went to the voice closer with my ears closed. It came from the living room and saw a little human playing.

Charlie played the violin further like he wanted to turtose your ears and he was succesful in it if that that's what he wanted to reach. Such an awful, terrible play and it seems hasn't an end till I took the violin out his hands. I know that seemed rude but oh I wish you could heard it so you could agree with me. Charlie looked dissapointed at me. "I thought it was my father." He said. "I started to play because I heard someone came in."

"Well it's not your father, it's me."

He pounted. "All this work for nothing. I wanted to turtose his ears so he would say "Stop Charlie." What a rare wish he had. The violin was actually a bridge between Tommy and Charlie. Whatever happens to them I literally understand why a violin. Tommy blamed himself for the death of his wife and everytime when he looks up to Charlie, it remembers him Grace. The violin he choosed was for him a punishment he did by himself. I know my brother more than anyone else. Outside he was cold blooded while inside it was a hell. Yep I cracked the code.

"I say it in your fathers place. Stop charlie for my ears sake." He laughed a bit on that but I could see there was a pain in him. The pain of a lost mother and having a father as gangster.

"Would you rather listen to a piano to heal you ears?" I asked to make him anyway better. He nodded and asked. "Do you know how to play a piano?"

I'm a master in it. why you talking about? wanted to say like that but was not in the mood. Him and I... we both needed to rest our heads. I went to the piano in the corner and started to play. As Ma'm Jemoure tought me I played the notes how I remind it.

When I played I closed my eyes to. I knew exactly where my fingers should type the piano keys. It was a method to keep me calm and it worked. Slowly Graces face showed up in my head than the thought she is dead and left her son here pulled a sad face on her. Than the thought they hided that from me and trying to be like everything was normal. No this play couldn't get further playing. As Ma'm Jemoure said once; "Better knowing the truth than being in a play." Yep even at a piano I heard her voice. That made my conclusion.

I stopped to play. "Charlie do you know where your father is?"

"He is at a meeting again." He answered. That was probably at the bar. I decided to go to there. I risced it all yes. But sitting like a dump girl, waiting till they finally want to tell me wasn't my thing. Facing the reality was the best option. And if you are from a gangster family you shouldn't have a fear. I went to the bar, not knowing what to say but I was verry clear to spill everything out...

~ End of chapter 10! Elsa slowly begins to understand the relationship between May & Tommy but isn't that sure also trys to deal with the fact that her family is something hiding from her. 1 of the many secrets is out. but what would she do if she finds May out? Everything would look like a mix soup. Anyway thank you for reading and see you in the next chapter!🍒

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