Chapter Sixteen - Home

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Kopter


The bed creaked as I sat down on its edge and grabbed the small blue box from my night stand. I turned it over and over in my hands, examining every little wrinkle in the paper for what felt like the one hundredth time. I could draw every insignificant detail from memory at this point, everything about it was significant to me.

I slumped back onto the bed, feeling my wet hair collide with the dry, soft sheets. It had been the same routine ever since I'd returned; dinner with Mom, shower, ponder what's inside the box, and eventually give up trying to muster up the courage to open it. Oh and finally, try not to think about Park. That last part of my routine I had failed every single night. He'd appeared inside some of my dreams too, sometimes in abstract forms like that time he was dressed as a giant peanut and chased me across Wat Arun, and others in very realistic renditions of the last night I'd seen him.

I closed my eyes and immediately saw Park's shocked expression etched on the insides of my eyelids. I'd kissed him, he was so stunned, and I panicked and I...laughed. I'd laughed and said it was a joke, 'A parting gift so he wouldn't forget me.' But Park didn't laugh. In fact, he didn't say another word, he just nodded solemnly, got into the cab, and drove off.

But it was a lie. Nothing about that kiss was a joke to me.

I screwed up my eyes tightly at the memory and lightly hit the side of my head with my balled up fist. How could I be so stupid?! Why did I do that?! What's wrong with me?!

"Kopter?"

I sat bolt upright and turned towards the door where Mom stood, holding two cups of tea. She'd lost weight since I had been gone, maybe it was just stress from work but it was enough for me to notice. Her chestnut hair was tied up in her signature bun with a few loose strands falling and gently framed her heart-shaped face. Her rectangular glasses were perched on the end of her nose and she wore one of my Dad's old brown sweaters giving her the impression of a strict, yet loving librarian. She looked tired, but happy.

"What's wrong, my love?" She walked over, sat down next to me, and handed me one of the cups.

"It's nothing," I lied, taking a small sip. She gave me a reproachful stare like she knew I wasn't telling the whole truth, but decided to drop the matter and moved her attention onto something else.

"What's that?" She asked, pointing over to the blue box Park had given me, "A late Christmas gift?"

"Yeah, it's from Park."

She narrowed her eyes in concentration, "Is he that boy from the café? The one Nok says you're constantly hanging out with?"

I nodded, "Yep, that's the one."

She gently picked up the box and turned it over in her hands. "Why haven't you opened it? It's already been over a week since Christmas."

I nervously rubbed my hands together and admitted, "It's complicated..."

She handed the box back to me and smiled, causing small wrinkles to form at the corners of her eyes. She spoke softly, "Why don't you try me?"

I anxiously ruffled my hair with my free hand, "Ummm well, just after he gave me this gift we kinda, uhhh..." I stuttered, searching for an alternative to telling my Mom I had kissed another boy, "We had a fight." Park wasn't talking to me and I'd clearly hurt him, so it didn't feel like a full lie.

"That's not like you, Kopter. What did you two fight about?"

"It's not important," I mumbled. "Just a disagreement on something."

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