"You said, no you sang, you sang that everything was gonna be alright. You said that we'll be alright, Harry. But did you mean that?"
Where Belle Olivia Granger encounters five young boys who happen to be in the biggest boyband on the planet, and sh...
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*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:*:✼✿✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*
I haven't been this emotionally void in a long time, and it's driving me insane. Where the thought of actually having feelings disgusted me at one point in my life, I've now realized that being vulnerable is the key to everything whether the outcome is so amazing that my heart swells to unnatural sizes or crushes into a million little pieces from the sadness.
The only difference between me now and me then is that my younger self fought against her emotions, but me now is trying so hard to welcome them, however they won't seem to come.
Maybe, I've used them all up.
When I stormed from Harry's room, I nearly fell down the stairs in my blinded haste to escape the suffocation. After finding all of my clothes and other belongings, I put my jeans on, stupidly continuing to wear his shirt that smelled so strongly of him with hints of something floral. I ran from the house as fast as I could, only stopping on a street corner when I was positive he wasn't coming after me. It took forever to find a car to bring me back to my hotel so early in the morning, but my time alone in the freezing London air was actually welcomed.
Guilt instantly overran my mind at abandoning poor Anne on a joyous holiday such as Christmas, especially when I was so looking forward to spending it with a woman as bright as my own mother used to be, but I suppose I'm simply fated to spend it alone for the rest of my life.
Arriving at the airport, I had no idea where I wanted to go, I just knew I didn't want to go home. I couldn't face the isolation of being alone. In my head, I thought somewhere sunny and warm would be the perfect place to get my mind off of the cold darkness that Harry permanently tattooed into every square inch of my skin, inking over the bright red line of hope within my pinky.
So, I bought a ticket for the first flight I saw that was to a place known for always being hot with bright blue skies- it's called the sunshine state for a reason.
For the entire flight, I kept the small box in my hands that I don't even understand why I took with me in the first place. I spent hours mulling over in my mind if I should open it or not and if the contents would even bring me an ounce of solace or just a wave of more pain. Safe to say, all the contents brought me was a good mix of both, neither emotion succeeding in trumping the other.
Things were going so well, and even a month after it happened, I still struggle to figure out what made Harry flip that devilish switch that he did. He was opening up to me and I was confessing my heart to him. We cried for each other, and I held him close with nothing but warmth pouring from my body to try and quell the stormy clouds of snow in the coldest depths of his tainted mind, doubts coursing through my veins the entire time.
His lips on mine shocked me into oblivion but were so welcome at the same time. Everything about his plush mouth on mine after being apart for so long was alarming to the point where red flashing lights and blaring sirens screamed throughout my already pounding eardrums, but it was simply too easy to get lost in him.
