An Alpha's Love

1.

Welcome back to hell.

Have you ever noticed that the worst moments of our young naive lives are spent in high school, the classes, the people we meet and also our own lack of growth add to that feeling of not wanting anything to do with the horrendous place but we're still kids so there is no point in complaining.

Life is basically a bitch and I don't mean a nice one either, she's just a mean lady.

Anyway besides that, for me as an individual high school senior year, was it, the year I knew I would be finally leaving this hell hole and going off to swim in integrated pools of rainbows or wherever a chubby gay nerd would go.

I've always wondered what my life would be like if I was pretty like everyone else, if I was slightly tan, or more vibrant, maybe even not all that highly gay.

I still wonder but it won't make a difference because in between the wonder, I already know a few answers to that, I just like to be optimistic enough not to fall into a self decrepit state whereby I rely on social media to boost my confidence and define the right guy and food for me to eat.

Guess that's why a lot of the cool kids don't really like me, yeah that's probably it.

I walk toward the school main gates. Welcome to St Maine Academy, it's one of the several schools in the town well more like developing city of St Maine, it's a little ways off SandBury, and the place I've grown up in.

It's hell for those who really don't have friends and those who are shunned by the school populace in general, much like myself. I arrive at the reception, got my new class schedule, and headed toward my new locker.

It's actually at a better spot than before, glad that happened. "Hey Linden, how are you?" I turn to look at my friend Charlotte, we've been friends since first year of high school, well her and my two other friends Amie and Andie.

"Hi, I'm good how was the break?" I reply with a smile. "It was great, like really great." I look where she is smiling toward and it was my boyfriend Matt Struss, when he sees me he scowls and looks to his friends.

That was weird.

"Hey guys, awesome new year right." The ever chirpy Amie announces when she spots me and Charlotte by my locker. "Right, it was awesome." I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose as I notice one thing that hasn't changed.

We might be friends but sometimes they just zone me out like I'm not there, I guess we don't really have anything in common since they are girls, I think.

"I'm going to class." I announce and no reply to I just locked my locker and walked away. "Watch it, nerd." One of the obvious football jock bumps into me, Iucky my glasses didn't fall off.

"Hey fattie, still sucking Struss's dick." Another thing that hasn't changed. Though the school was open to LGBT people and all relationships like mine and Matt's wasn't questioned.

What was questioned was the apparent hate of my physique, and facial attributes, to make it simple I was ugly and he was one of the football jocks the school cheer team and other socially high kids pined for and he was dating me.

But if only they knew that Matt and I only talked three times over break and he took me to one of the worst dates imaginable. He took me to the beach on a very cold day and got me soaking wet because he felt like swimming and I needed to loosen up.

After almost freezing to death, we went to his house and he tried to warm me up by sticking it inside me I never really got what he meant. So I changed into my slightly dry clothes and stormed out and trudged my way home and since then, we haven't talked.

I don't know if I really want to talk to him since I feel like all the signals have been sent to tell me that he really doesn't need me.

"Alright, class settle down." I listened to the teacher ramble on about the new year and what he expected of us. Yeah like that was going to be listened to. As the resident nerd, one of the few some students scrambled to be my partner, after ignoring them all, I remained on my own having convinced the teacher I could do it on my own.

The rest of the classes were boring because in junior year I had already caught up with the seniors, only if they allowed me to skip the grade. My mother would butcher me.

"Hey, you joining us for lunch." Andie asked when I entered the cafeteria but I immediately regretted having nodded yes because of the heavy make out session going on at the table where they wanted to sit.

So this was why Matt wasn't talking to me and why Charlottes break was very good. "Hey, guys." I pretended to not have noticed and just sat down smiling.

I was pretty okay with this, Charlotte always wanted him and Matt had already shown me he didn't want me, I was just waiting for the little respect I know he didn't have to tell me that we were over.

Reality began sinking in, yeah I loved my friends and maybe they loved me too, I don't really know but was it really all that worth it, being friends with them, could I risk being a total loner and just sit elsewhere and not bother myself with this trivial stuff.

"I gotta prep for class." Andie hums and the rest just ignore me."Oops." Another one of the jocks Ivan spills his milkshake all over me. "You can just lick it off, fattie." I ignore him and his cackling crew and run toward the bathroom.

I don't know why they bully me now, It's never been this way since Matt and I were together, or is it just because I was dating one of them, now that he's obviously not with me I'm all for that torture.

I wipe my glasses and the rest of the milkshake, and a few stray tears that I wipe immediately.

Just one last year in this place and you'll be free and none of them will say shit.

I walk out toward gym class, it's the one class I hate with a burning passion, not because I'm lazy or the teasing because of my body, the coach is a grade A asshole whom if I could, I would gladly get rid of.

"Welcome back to hell you little shits, start with laps." The glares and groans from all of us don't get to him, I guess he's used to being hated by students.

The rest of the day passed with me slightly happier again because of culinary arts. I love the class, one thing I appreciate about the school.

I make my way home, as usual, it's empty in the evenings. When dad died my mom got a job at the local hospital as the matron I think and most of the times during the morning and evening I rarely get to see her.

My brother Davey, is in college, he rarely visits, and who can blame him, he and dad were literally best friends and being home reminds him of the man, so he's rarely around. I barely got to know dad and I was always my mother's child so I never had an actual problem being here like him.

I make myself a simple meal, and leave some for mom. I should be lonely and honestly, I was, but I've had time to get used to it. I replied Andie's text and got down to reading French Renaissance

The doorbell rings and I make my way down, I wasn't expecting him to be at my house I guess it had to happen, here we go again with pain.

"Hey, Matt."

"Hey Lee, can we talk."

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This book is not edited, any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise, I will correct in due course, Thank you.

LMJ