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"here we go again" I breathe out nervously as I saw the familiar door of my school

The end of the school semester was fun and more importantly...safe. But now that it was over, I have to relive another set of trauma

"I can do this" I tried lifting my spirits up, trying to think this year would be better than the last. It was the only way I can do to make my body move and not be paralyzed by fear and anxiety

"One more year and I'm done with this school" I spoke one last time and began pushing my feet to take a step forward

As I pushed through the slightly heavy door, the humid inside made the glasses that were resting on my nose fog up.

I stop in my tracks to take it off and clean the unclear moist that began blinding my view. I put it back again and how I wish I just grew totally blind at that moment

'Shit' I started cursing at myself as my anxiety began to flare up. People were staring at me and it didn't help that I was standing in the middle of them all

The snickering looks everyone gave me made me feel small that I unknowingly clasped my bag tightly to my chest and used the bangs on my hair to hide away from them as I walked faster than normal

"look at the flies following her" I guess my prayers weren't heard this time again

"Why does this school not clean off the garbage in the morning"

"It's not garbage Sarah, it's a human trash forgetting how to shower" Laughter from all around spread through the hallway. Everything was repeating from the past years.

I should have grown normal with it but every word that came out of their mouth made me want to puke the bread I ate earlier

Their voices entered my ear but it didn't stop me from running away

I just wanted a different school life, a happy one, why can't I have that? Being normal was the only thing I have wished for since I was a kid but even when I was born, I have been a defect

Biologically, psychologically and socially what else was I missing?

God really poured out all the misfortune on me not even batting an eye to one happiness. Just a drop and I would have been crawling in happiness but he did not even let me be born normally

'God damn it!' I bent down and touched my knees as soon as I was in a deserted corner. My breathing was fast and I had to take out my inhaler just to not have a panic attack

After two inhalations of that legally inclined drugs, my heartbeat started returning back to normal. I placed my back on the cold wall and tried controlling my breathing more

First day and I'm already about to die this is amazing

I took out my phone to see my schedule for today and what classroom I should go to.  The crack on the screen made it hard for the screen to show the time but it was still readable

'math for the first subject?' I let out a sigh of relief. I was not that great with numbers and symbols but my grade was good. The only thing I loved about the subject was that it meant I would not see them first thing in the morning

I exited the photo app and went to look at my texts.

She hasn't replied to me yet. I can see the ticks on the bottom of all my text not turning green. It's been a week and she never said Hi or whatever after everything that happened

'Of course, she won't reply to you, dumbass, you two are not dating anymore' I slapped myself in the face and forced myself to not cry

Seeing the time on my phone, I collected everything and began walking to my class earlier than anyone. I can talk to her later and ask what happened

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