BAD BOY ABUSED (male pov)

#15 Screw trying to get her to hate you Liam.

"Liam you piece of shit where is my beer?" Jax called at eight thirty in the morning as he frantically searched for his missing beer bottles.

"I don't know" I said finishing a piece of dry toast before school.

"You've took them, always stealing like your whore of a mother." he slammed the fridge door shut making my shoulders tense with the bang.

"Don't call her that." I said with a low tone that posed as a warning. I stood to leave, brushing the crumbs off my shirt. Jax stormed over to me, threw his fist back and landing it square in my eye.

"Jesus" I shouted. He walked away leaving me to clutch my face, I hope that doesn't bruise.

I grabbed my bag and left in a rage, meeting Jordan outside my house.

"You okay?" he asked me suspiciously.

"I'm fine." I replied through gritted teeth. Jordan sat for a few moments staring at my side profile before revving up the engine. I needed to get to school and find my distraction.

We didn't speak on the journey to school and when we met up with Zak and Ben I, again remained mute. I wasn't in the mood for them, or anyone. I stopped off at my locker filling it with my books and just before I closed it someone bumped into my shoulder. Letting in all of the darkness I already struggled to hold down.

I turned around on instant, coming eye to eye with that douchebag Alex. The one who stares at Olivia with his greedy eyes trailing all over her body.

"Sorry dude." He said as he tried to continue walking. I grabbed him back by his collar and threw him up against the locker. His back shutting the door for me. He looked startled by my overreaction and but I ignored his facial expressions as the anger boiled up inside of me. I looked into his slimy eyes and he cowered under my grasp. Everything on my body was clenched tight. My knuckles turned white from the pressure of my clutch and I could feel the tips of my fingernails cutting into my skin. Without even thinking about it I threw my fist into his face, knocking him back slightly even though I was holding him still. He let out an exaggerated moan but didn't make any attempts to fight back. I punched him again. And again. He fell to the floor and straddled him continuing to take strike after strike at his face.

How dare he degrade her like that?

How dare Jax treat me like that?

How dare he do that to me against my will?

I channelled all of my anger, letting it out on Alex's broken face. I wanted to kill him as I pummelled harder and harder not letting up, not letting them win. I shut out the crowd that gathered around, I shut out Jordan and Zak who tugged at my arms trying to get me away from Alex. There was no stopping me, I was out of control. Poisoned by my damage.

Alex lay limp beneath me, his face had become swollen and blood poured from his nose and mouth. His skin was no longer white, it was a tender shade of red and he groaned beneath me in pain. His unrecognizable face showing everyone the monster that I am. But in that moment I didn't care, I was going to kill him. I wanted to kill him.

I felt someone place a warm hand on my shoulder, sending a shiver down my spine and making me freeze in the air. I knew who it was without even looking at her. The only person with the power to distract me without fucking me. I turned around and there was she, my saving grace. Her emerald eyes poured into me the strong emotion she was feeling, fear. I blinked back at her as the guilt washed over me and my own blue eyes softened, dragging away the anger. My chest frantically moved up and down with my rapid breathing, I had scared her. I'm a monster.

"Principal Jenkins is coming, you need to stop." She said as I still sat above alex's swollen, bloodied body. He groaned beneath me.

I lost control, he didn't even fight me back... never threw a single hit yet here he is looking like I've broke his nose. I lost control in front of all of these people who will be talking about it for the rest of the day. I lost control and frightened her, the one person in the world who I never wanted to see me like this.

I got up, shook off Jordan and Zak and left the building, putting space between us both.

I returned home to grab my bike then spent a few hours just driving around trying to clear my head. I found myself on the dock, just watching the water flow gently beneath my feet listening to music playing down my ear phones and throwing rocks against the silky smooth surface. It was serene and peaceful, a huge contrast from what I was feeling inside. Guilt dominated my emotions and I hated myself for letting myself go.

I sensed someone behind me, not just anyone, her. Her intoxicatingly sweet, tropical scent filled my insides with warmth and safety. She's actually here, I thought she would have run away and been long gone by now. She stood behind me for a while, but she didn't say anything.

"I can feel you watching me Olive." I said, keeping my face away from hers because I didn't want her reading my expression as I struggled to maintain composure.

"Are you okay?" She asked gently.

Are YOU okay? I scared YOU. Why are you asking about me?

"Yeah." I said straightly, turning around to face her.

Her eyes darted towards my black eye and she winced for me, I shrunk down inside. I hated revealing any part of my weaknesses to her or to anyone.

"Yeah I know... but you should see the other guy." I tried to make a joke of it but my insincere smile didn't reach my eyes. It wasn't even Alex that did this to my face, it was Jax.

"What happened? Why were you so mad?" She asked the question I dreaded coming from her lips.

I was mad because Jax pissed me off and I needed someone to take my mood out on because I hadn't found a girl to fuck yet. Then Alex bumped into me I already had my problems with him because he looks at you like a piece of meat and I don't like it so I just lost it.

"I slept with his girl, he started on me so I finished it." I lied to her again and shrugged it off to make the whole encounter seem more casual.

I was filling up with so much self hatred right now. I hated lying to her, I hated that scared her and I hated that I was too damaged to tell her. I sat down on edge of the dock and she sat next to me as neither of us spoke a word to each other. I couldn't take it any longer, the guilt was eating me alive.

"I scared you, didn't I?" My voice came out broken and quiet and I could feel my cheeks heating up, turning pink from my exposed emotion. In that moment so many feels washed over me and I couldn't contain them behind my heavily built walls. The fear rolled in, afraid she would run. I was ashamed of myself for acting this way in front of her. I hated myself for being so damaged.

After the longest moment where time stood still she nodded her head, admitting everything that I already knew. I scared her. My heart ached and it was harder to endure than any physical pain I've ever received.

"I..." I stuttered my words, forcing out something I've never said before "I'm ... sorry."

I felt embarrassed apologizing to her and when the words left my mouth they came out as barely a whisper. The whole of my insides felt heavy and void as I was consumed by negative feelings of guilt and hurt.

"It's ok Liam. It's over now." Olivia said sweetly.

Her beautiful green eyes reflected the water and smiled at me warmly, telling me everything was okay. My intense feelings of self hatred didn't diminish enough but her forgiveness was enough to allow me to rebuild my barriers and offer her  a ride home. I made the conscious decision to never treat her badly again. Screw trying to get her to hate you Liam.